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The Dallas Cowboys & Marriage: Faithfulness is all in your head

I know the 2018 Super Bowl is right around the corner, but as far as I’m concerned, the football season ended when the Dallas Cowboys played their last game. I’m not as much a football fan as I am a Cowboys fan. While everyone else is placing bets on who will win the Super Bowl and planning their Super Bowl parties, I’m watching the Cowboys players prepare for the Pro Bowl and watching all the off-season activities.

So what does any of this have to do with Relationships and Recovery? I’ll connect the dots for you in this Flashback Friday post from 2013 …

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You might say I was born a Dallas Cowboys fan. I was born in the city of Dallas and cheered for the team from as far back as I can remember. I even wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader when I was a little girl, and my sister and I had the official white cheerleader jackets to prove it.

My grandpa was very instrumental in my love for the team — He was a huge fan and never missed watching a game or listening on the radio when we were at lunch after church on Sundays. I attended the one and only game (so far in my lifetime) in the old Texas Stadium during Tom Landry’s last year of coaching just before Jerry Jones bought the team …

So, we were watching them play the NFC East championship game against the Philadelphia Eagles tonight when they were only a point behind. (Someone close to me) said that if they won, all the fair-weathered fans will be out putting their Cowboys flags on their car windows and in their yards the next day.

I can’t imagine NOT being a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, yet when people complain about the team, their records, the players, coaches and owner, it makes me think of marriage.

If you only love a team because they are winning, that isn’t real love. The same goes in a marriage — if you only love your spouse when he or she is doing things that please you or make you feel good, that really isn’t love either.

Granted, it’s much harder to practice love when another person’s actions affect you in such a profound and personal way. A sports team winning or losing doesn’t affect me at all (especially since I don’t gamble my money on game outcomes). However, when the person I love more than anyone in this world does things that hurts or displeases me, it’s harder to let go.

So what do you do?

I happened upon a movie called Fireproof about a couple on the brink of divorce. The husband, a firefighter, changed his mind about getting divorced and started making changes in his own life. Near the end of the film, the wife got sick and the husband brought her food and medicine. She asked him why he was being so nice to her and his response was, “I’ve learned that you never leave your partner in the middle of a fire.”

Experts say staying together isn’t a magical thing — It’s all in your head!

In his book The DNA of Relationships, Dr. Gary Smalley explains it like this, “Your thoughts are the basis for your feelings and reactions … You have a choice about how you react when someone pushes your fear button. No one else controls how you think. No one else controls how you react. You alone do that.”

So, staying together and being faithful to your relationship or sports team is all under your control. What thoughts are you thinking today that can make your relationships better?

You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. If you want to know more about the healing and transformation process, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.