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You want to know what love’s about?

In 2014, I spent much of February writing about love. Here’s one of those Flashback Friday posts …

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There’s a line in the song Spotlight by the band Leagues that says, “Romantic love’s a fickle friend. You want to know what love’s about? Give it when you feel none.”

This reminds me of the advice my Addicted Family Therapy professor would often give me when I was having a meltdown. After asking me when was the last time I had been to an Al-Anon meeting she would say, “You sure have some high class problems living in that high rise in the nice part of town, Senée. You need to go find someone you can help.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer often says that we have to want IT more for others than we want it for ourselves. That IT could be a happy marriage, a baby, a new job, healing, financial security or anything. More often than not, that IT is typically peace of mind …

About four years ago, shortly after I started studying Substance Abuse Counseling, I woke up one day with total and complete peace about not having children at that time in my life. It was the most amazing feeling I’ve ever experienced which allowed me to be in a relationship with a man who had a vasectomy during the time we were dating without me totally freaking out. (I now realize that was because I knew deep down that he wasn’t the one for me.) But it also alarmed me because I thought if I didn’t want it bad enough I wouldn’t get it …

I’m realizing the same 12 Steps that help us cope with being in relationships with substance users can also help restore our sanity when we want things that are out of our control.

Step study teaches us that when we admit we’re powerless over the situation and our lives have become unmanageable (Step 1), and we come to believe that God [the power greater than ourselves] can restore us to sanity (Step 2), then we’re ready to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him (Step 3). There’s obviously more to it, but this is the start.

And don’t get me wrong … It isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially if you have great attachments to those things you’re trying to turn over to God. Even the most religious people will admit to taking things back they have previously given to God in an attempt to speed up the process, but that never works.

So while you’re waiting for God to change you, you can want it more for others than you want it for yourself and go look for someone to help. I’ve been crocheting baby blankets for all my close friends who were recently blessed with little ones (and I’m praying for those babies with every stitch).

What are you dealing with, and how are you “wanting it more for others than you want it for yourself?”

You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. If you want to know more about the healing and transformation process, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.