Month: October 2018

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Are there zombies among us?

I was on my way to work recently and stopped second in line at a red light in a busy intersection. I was listening to the Breakfast Beat Mix on First Wave when I felt a croooooosh from behind …. A pickup truck had hit and defiled my Princess Mobile!

I got out of the car, and the 20-something guy inside didn’t bother to ask if I was alright. He didn’t say he was sorry. He didn’t even get out of the car. He appeared to be high on pot, and when I pointed out what he did, his only response was, “My bad.”

He showed no remorse. No sense of responsibility. No human kindness … NOTHING!

He had no insurance or driver’s license. He seemed to have no life in him. He was like a zombie.

In the truther community, it is said that there are people without souls walking among us like zombies. While I could believe that in theory, it wasn’t until this experience that I started to believe it might be fact.

My motto in raising children and in life has always been, “You mess up, you clean up!”

I’ve written about this in The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart … When you make a mistake, it’s your responsibility to make things right. You have to do whatever you can to fix the issue — be that in love or life. Self medicating, being selfish and zoning out are not options. Taking positive action is the only way.

Don’t be a zombie, and don’t enable them either!

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

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Don’t let anyone take your crown

I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll say it again: I’m a work in progress. I’m better than I used to be, but I’m still not where I want to be. I want my initial reaction to anything to be that of love and peace, but sometimes it just isn’t. Sometimes, I still let people take my crown, or at least tilt it a little.

I’ve been in crisis, “Get ‘er done” mode at the magazine where I work salvaging a very late issue. I’ve been Princess Senée reporting for duty on the sinking Titanic. I’m doing everything in my power to save this ship. (I’m going to make it happen, even though there may be some parts dangling, the ship will not sink on my watch!) I’ve had the help of a couple of coworkers — to whom I’m eternally grateful for their help and cooperation. However, there are others who have just thrown obstacles in my way. I feels like I’m on the Titanic running around with my hair on fire trying to keep the ship from going under, and they’re in the life boat with their life jackets on screaming at me that I’m not doing it right.

One person heard me asking for a specific name I couldn’t find online for a story I was editing. This person inserted themselves into the conversation telling me to go online (which I had already done). It was so bad I couldn’t even look at this person because, at the very least, they would have seen me rolling my eyes to the back of my head and biting my tongue to keep from saying what I was really feeling — my princess crown was definitely on tilt, and I hated it!

Don't let anyone take your crownYou see, we’re royalty. Our natural state resonates in the high energy of love, integrity and peace. When we allow others externally to bring our energy low to that of anger or frustration, we’ve handed them our crowns and are now allowing them to control our emotions. Christ told us that we are to be passers by. (Like my grandmother used to say, “Shick-a-mo-shy pass them on by!” I was not being an observer in this case, I was mad and frustrated that this person was hindering me from getting the job done and saving the Titanic.

I don’t like myself very much when that happens. I had to go home and forgive myself. I literally said, “Senée, I know you’re under a lot of stress to pull off the impossible and you have been operating in emergency, crisis mode. I know you don’t like how you acted, but I love and forgive you. I know you will do better next time and be the observer faster.”

I spent a whole chapter in The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart talking about forgiving yourself, but it has only been in the last few weeks that I’ve understood why it’s important and how to do it better. Not forgiving yourself binds you with guilt and weights on you. It can even cause you to operate in fear which is the worst thing in the world. Derrick Brose the Global Witness, said that self unforgivness is like carrying a heavy backpack on your back and wanting to jump off a deep cliff. Instead of jumping, he suggests you take all that heavy unforgivness, throw that backpack over the cliff and walk way divine, sovereign and free — I agree with him.

Some people feel so powerless in their own lives that they try to exert power over everyone around them to feel powerful. You see this all the time in the workplace with people who have demanding spouses. Is this right or a good excuse? Of course not! However, we have to be the observer and just pass them on by.

Any therapist will tell you that to have peace, you need to observe your thoughts and feelings and let them pass. The same is true for all the external things that happen around you. Don’t pick a side. Just say, “That’s interesting,” and pass them on by.

Billie Eilish says it best when she sings, “If you think I’m pretty, you should see me in a crown!” Don’t waste the pretty and don’t let anyone take your crown!

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

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Being in balance

Today would have been my Pa-Paw’s 104th birthday. I was born the day after his birthday, and we always celebrated our birthdays together … I can’t tell you how much I loved that and deeply miss it! This blog post from 2014 is in honor of him. He was a Libra too and valued balance as much as I do …

During Spring Break this year, I wanted to work on myself, but it occurred to me in the middle of the week that part of my problem might be that I could be out of balance ― or out of whack, as my Pa-Paw used to say.

The very next day I was in my favorite used bookstore looking for books by my favorite self-help author, when the first book my hand touched was titled, Being in Balance. (Yes, God, I’m listening!)

being in balanceBalance is a holistic practice. It’s both physical and psychological. This is especially true when talking about how you treat your body.

“The concept of balance starts with internal balance of your body from a metabolic and hormonal level, extending to a balance of your body fat levels and muscle, to a balance of your upper body and lower body proportions,” said John Barban, fitness expert.

While it takes action to do things to bring balance to your body and life, it all starts with how you’re thinking and talking internally to yourself.

Have you ever noticed how you actually speak to yourself in your head? If your self-talk is more negative than positive, you CAN change it starting right now by noticing what you’re thinking, then replacing those negative thoughts. Dr. Daniel Amen calls them ANTS — Automatic Negative ThoughtS.

In his book, Being in Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires Dr. Wayne Dyer offers these thoughts for balancing your dreams with your daily routines:

Balance your dreams with your habits. You name it, and if you can dream it, you can achieve it. But only if you align your inner creative energy ― your thoughts ― so that they match up perfectly with your dreams.

Balance your desire to enjoy life with your need to achieve. Become conscious of your desire to be at peace, and then match your present-moment thoughts to that desire.

Balance how you see yourself with what you project to the world. Become aware of all your behaviors and feelings. Then attempt to determine if they match your vision of yourself, and if that self-image is what others see.

Balance your desire for what you want with your addictive behavior. Overcoming the imbalance with addictive thinking begins and ends with your awareness that you, with the help of your Source, have everything you need right now to end your imbalance.

Balance your desire to have your body feel great with what you feed it and how you exercise it. Truly, you are not what you eat or how much you exercise, but rather what you believe about the you that you’re presently birthing in your thoughts.

Balance your desire for prosperity with your habits of scarcity. Right now, in this moment, you can initiate the practice of allowing only prosperous thoughts to live in your consciousness. Replace “I don’t even know how to think like this” with “I’m abundant, I attract prosperity, I am in balance with this desire, and I will not think in any other way.”

Balance your desire to live in a peaceful world with messages of evil continually bombarding you. I’m obliged to stay in a consciousness of compassion and love―not only to maintain my own balance, but to help ensure the continual survival of our species. There can be no greater calling.

Balance your desire for love with feelings of not having enough love. Not only is love what is left over when falling in love fades away, but love defines the Source from which we came. You must vow from this moment forward, to see yourself exclusively in loving terms, and invite love to accompany you 24/7.

Balance your spiritual life with your material life. Being more balanced spiritually and physically gives me the opportunity to be in a continual state of gratitude and awe … There’s a significant change in your life when you correct the imbalance between your physical and spiritual being.

What have you found beneficial when keeping yourself in balance?

You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. If you want to know more how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

 

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Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?

It’s my birthday week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about love a lot lately — not the kind of external love we automatically think about, although that’s been on my mind too — I’m talking about the internal love no one can take away from you.

In our modern-day culture, we tend to think that the only love that counts is the external love from another person typically in a romantic setting. There’s an old song with the lyrics, “You’re nobody until somebody loves you.” I must disagree with this statement. We come from pure love. We are loved greatly by the Father and Creator of All. We have ancestors and spiritual relatives who love us and protect us even though we never see or encounter them in this realm of existence.

I spent an entire chapter of The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart talking about loving yourself, but it hasn’t been until recent weeks that I’m starting to realize what that really looks like.

The last line of John Mayer’s song New Light poses the question, “What do I do with all this love flowing through my veins for you?” I dare say, once again, that you give all that love back to yourself until you have someone in your life to give that love to who will love you back … That last part is very important because if you aren’t receiving love back from a person, you’re in an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship.

Lately, I’ve been listening daily to The Sundays song Love. The lyrics are profound and have really redirected my thinking about self-love.

So, killing me with love, love, love just love yourself

like no one else.

Love, it’s enough.

So, they can say what they like, but they still can’t take

Your love, your love, your love just love yourself like nobody else.

Time’s so scarce where I come from

Let them say what they like, but they still can’t take your love.

When we finally realize who we are, that we ARE love and are deeply loved, no one can take that away from us. Will there be times when we feel lonely and unloved? Of course! I can’t tell you how many birthdays (including the last three and probably this upcoming one) and holidays I’ve spent totally alone. I’ve learned a very valuable lesson, though … When I’m alone on special days, I can spend them doing anything I want to do! I don’t have anyone telling me I’m not worthy of celebrating or that I want too much. I can spend as much or as little money on myself and feel very good about it because I don’t have anyone dictating to me my worth!

love yourself like no one elseSo, how do you show love to yourself? You do exactly what I explain in the book … You talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, handsome, talented, honorable, worthy and lovable. I’ve never had a problem looking at myself naked in the mirror — even when I weighed my largest — but It’s taken me decades to finally look in that mirror and see a divine, pretty princess who is beautiful on the inside and outside. I actually see her now, and I’m so grateful that I got to spend this existence in a beautiful, healthy body. Am I perfect? I’m still breathing, so the answer is NO. However, I’m learning to appreciate all that I am and all that I have while not dwelling on all those who have walked away from me or those who terrorized me while they were in my life. I see the good in the now, and the present moment really is the gift!

I used to think that the only way a gift mattered was if it was given by someone I loved. I now realize that giving gifts to myself in love is just as important … And it comes with no strings or expectations attached.

If you long for someone to give you your favorite flowers, go buy some for yourself or plant them in a pot so that you can have them near you all year long. If you dream of dancing with someone, enroll in dancing classes at a local studio and let them pair you up with someone while you’re waiting on the right person to show up in your life. If you love sports and want a partner to watch games with you, join a Meetup group for sports fans, attend college alumni watching parties or go to a local sports bar and make friends. If you love live music, go see a show by yourself — It hasn’t happened very often, but I have seriously had some of my best times when I ended up going out all by myself! Don’t sit around waiting and wishing for things to change … Do things now that make you happy and show positive love for yourself!

Recently, I was not feeling well, and I was really wishing my Granny were still alive so that I could curl up in her lap and let her rock me in her rocking chair. I found myself sitting in my own rocking chair. I wrapped my arms around myself, began rocking and I said what I would tell any sick little child I was rocking, “I know you feel really bad right now, but you’re going to be alright. Your body is magnificent and will repair and heal itself. You just need to close your eyes, fall asleep and let your body do its work.” That’s exactly what I needed in that moment, and it was fascinating and wonderful that I was able to give myself what I was longing to receive from someone externally.

In case you’re wondering if what I’m explaining is being “full of yourself” or Narcissistic, the answer is NO. I was talking about this subject with a therapist friend of mine, and she seemed to agree with my distinction between healthy self-love and someone who is ego-driven or who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I believe that people with highly inflated egos and NPD exude negative energy, while people with positive self-love genuinely love themselves and exude that positive love to everyone around them.

When you learn to treat yourself with true love and respect, you won’t allow others to mistreat you … That’s a promise from a princess! 🙂

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

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Life’s a beach … Get out of your comfort zone and play in the sand

It’s my birthday week, and you’re getting the gifts with an extra blog post this week and next. Usually in Dallas, this is the week we finally lose the burn-your-face-off heat and get comfortable Fall weather. Not so this year … We got full blown Winter today, and I’m thinking about my end-of-Summer trip to the beach.

I hate flying! Anytime someone straps me to a chair and tells me not to move for hours … It’s just cruel and unusual punishment, in my opinion. I probably wouldn’t mind flying if I could do it in a private jet, but I haven’t gotten to experience that yet to know for sure.

So, I only fly when it’s very important to me or absolutely necessary — if I can get there by car or train, those are my first choices. This Summer, I celebrated it’s ending by visiting my best friend who lives at the beach in Los Angeles … Meaning I had only enough time to fly.

I’m not going to lie … I was very anxious about making this trip. I really wanted to see my best friend and go to the beach. When I was growing up, I always wished I were Gidget or Didi or some other Hollywood character who spent every day at the beach. However, I was having physical signs of anxiety two days before the trip.

It’s hard for me to read signs unless I’m close to them because of my vision, and traveling alone in an airport always seems to require that. People tend to get annoyed with me when I’m just doing the best I can.

This was the first time I had been inside an airport in more than five years when I flew from Dallas to Houston and back in the same day for business. It never fails that I always get pulled out for special security checks. On this beach trip, I was wearing a dress. So, I opted for the naked picture booth instead of the pat down, but they pulled me aside anyway to pat me down.

It was worth the trouble because I was seated on the plane in between two cute guys, both vying for my attention during the flight.

Life's a beach, go play in the sandI spent a day alone at the beach which was so relaxing and rejuvenating for me — the sound of the waves and the seagulls along with the laughter of the children playing near me was just what I needed psychologically … I needed that weekend with my best friend too!

Unfortunately I tried to be Gidget and fit an entire Summer of beach-going into one day and came home looking like burnt Malibu Barbie!

So, while the trip may not have been perfect, it gave me exactly what I needed. I want to encourage you to not allow negative moments to stop you from taking care of yourself and doing positive things for yourself.

You can catch first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.