We’re on the topic of common public behavior this week, and it’s fitting that I remind you of a post I wrote exactly a year ago in April 2017 (totally a coincidence). I had forgotten the details of the incidents I recount in this post, but after reading it again, I realize this is the same behavior being reported in the news lately, and it obviously hasn’t gotten any better. Please share these posts with your contacts on social media, and let’s get the word out that we don’t have to act in such vile, inhumane ways. Let’s rise to a higher level. Let’s be the type of royal, kindhearted, peace-minded people we so desperately need to see in this world …
What I’m about to tell you has been a month in the making, and now I understand why I didn’t write about it when I first started crafting the story in my head last month. (I am seriously writing a book about this and related topics!)
I walked into my nail salon about a month ago. It’s always been my place of relaxation where I get recharged and beautified. When I walked in, I immediately noticed two or three women and a man sitting at the first tables talking about someone — gossiping about this person, actually. I couldn’t help but notice them because they we extremely loud. I also noticed a couple of other women, who were not with that group, getting their fingernails done.
After I sat down, I heard the group of women say something about how people needed to stay out of their business, and they said that they didn’t talk about other people and other people shouldn’t talk about them — I immediately thought, “Totally not true by the words you just spoke a couple of minutes ago.”
My nail tech turned on the massage chair for me, and I closed my eyes and went into relaxation mode … That was until my peaceful world was shattered by a bunch of loud commotion from the group of people near the entrance of the salon. When I opened my eyes, I saw two police officers standing next to the man asking him if the car outside was his and asking to see his identification. He answered “No,” to both questions, then when they asked him to speak with them outside, he refused. So they proceeded to tell him that they found drugs in the car they asked him about. All of a sudden, the women with him got really loud — I’m not talking happy, friendly loud, I’m talking threatening, peace shattering loud — screaming racism and calling several people on their phones giving them the play-by-play. They completely changed the atmosphere in the salon in seconds!
It got so bad that I didn’t feel safe being in the same room with these people, and I wasn’t the only one. One lady refused to wait for her nails to dry in spite of the salon owner practically begging her to stay. She ran out of there like her hair was on fire. I wanted to do the same thing, but I wasn’t physically in a position to leave.
My nail tech was talking to another one in a different language. I looked at him and asked if the owner could ask the disruptive people to leave. He said yes, but it didn’t happen immediately. I was feeling so unsafe that I started praying quietly, but out loud, asking God to send His warring angels to protect us innocent bystanders, bring peace and safety into that salon, and I rebuked the demonic, dangerous spirits operating there. I’m not joking … Within two minutes or less they left! Oh, they came back inside once for just a few seconds, and we could hear them screaming at the police in the parking lot for several minutes, but before my nail tech was finished with me, I was back in the tranquil setting in which I was so familiar.
You’ll never believe this, but just two weeks later it happened again — this time in a restaurant. It was a group of different colored people probably from a different Socioeconomic Status, but disruptive and frightening all the same — my point being it doesn’t matter what color skin, how much money they have or what religion they claim to profess, they are behaving badly in public all the same. They were sitting at a table in the section next to mine not directly near me, but near the entrance/exit. A guy walked in wanting to talk to the daughter at the table, and the mother got up and in his face telling him to leave. It was so loud that I stopped eating. I asked for the check and waited a few minutes hoping the scene would be over and I wouldn’t have to walk past them to get out of the restaurant. I even went to the ladies room to give it enough time to be over. When I walked out the door, there were three large police SUVs parked in front of the door, but the officers were standing around smiling and joking. So, I guess everything was resolved.
Why am I telling you these stories? Because it has become apparent to me that in today’s society, people have either forgotten or were never taught how to act in public. (And, yes, I am serious about writing a book on this topic. I’ve already started on it even before I finish The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart.)
When you are in the privacy of your own home, you can act any way you wish to —a s long as you aren’t hurting anyone else. However, I nor anyone else want to see you fight with another person, tell another person off, scream at someone, beat your kids or throw a fit. We don’t want to see it or hear it! And another thing, we do not want to hear your phone conversations — EVER! We don’t want to hear them trapped on a train or bus, in an airplane, car or shopping mall.
Hear me when I say this: YOU HAVE A HOUSE/APARTMENT/HOME … THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR DISAGREEMENTS AND RESOLVE THEM! THAT IS WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE CONVERSATIONS, NOT IN PUBLIC!!!
Your home is your oasis. It should be a place of comfort and safety — if it isn’t, you have the power to change that. Your home is where you do all this unacceptable public behavior. Just because you CAN do something does not mean that you SHOULD do it. This is basic home teaching. You do not impose your bad behavior or your will on other people — especially strangers who do not deserve your negative energy!
The right thing to do is always take it outside. Watch some older movies. Men always took their disagreements outside. If people wanted to know what was going on, they followed them outside. The people who wanted to live in peace stayed inside.
If you are witnessing something like this, you should do whatever you can safely do to intervene and diffuse the situation — yes, I said get involved and not turn a blind eye to misbehavior that is affecting everyone in the room. I did say out loud in the salon that they needed to take it outside. Then I asked the nail tech if the salon owner could ask them to leave.
If you can’t do anything safely to intervene, you need to call the police. I expected the establishment owners to do so. That is their job to protect their customers. While our rights seem to be eroding, business owners still have the right to refuse service in most states, and should ask disrupters to pay and leave.
We MUST stop being bullied by people who are throwing up their bad behavior all over everyone in the immediate area. They must be taught by our actions, that their behavior is NOT acceptable in public.
I’m old school … I’ll admit it. I have no problem admitting that I’m old-fashioned and admire and deeply appreciate manners and respect of others. I don’t want to live in a spaceship world like the one in the movie Wall-E. In that world, people rode around on the equivalent of a Rascal or Hovaround like the old folks ride on, talking only to people on video phones and eating processed foods. They were fat, diseased, lazy to the point of not being able to walk on their own two legs, and they had no social skills or awareness of the literal world around them.
I don’t want to live in that world. I want to live in a friendly, peaceful, real world. Yes, there will be conflict, but you use communication to resolve conflict and treat people in a kind, caring way — the way you want to be treated deep, down inside.
In the movie, Royal Winter, the queen told her son that his father stopped going dancing every Friday night after he became king “because he realized it was unseemly for a king to just be one of the guys. The people expect us to be different, separate.” We are all unique and different, and if we’re Christians we are called to be set apart. “Everything that belongs to the world — what the sinful self desires, what people see and want, and everything in this world that people are so proud of — none of this comes from the Father; it all comes from the world. The world and everything in it that people desire is passing away; but those who do the will of God live forever,” 1 John 2:16-17
Let’s commit ourselves to live a royal life — a life of a higher standard that respects ourselves and others.
You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. If you want to know more how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart”by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.
