Month: August 2019

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Summer romances can last a lifetime

As the Summer winds down, many of you have fallen in love and had the time of your lives. I haven’t had a Summer romance in seven years, but I’ve had a couple of encounters this Summer that have reinforced my primary love affair.

I went on vacation early in the Summer to visit my best friend in Los Angeles. It was surprisingly cold there, and my plans to spend the week on the beach were interrupted. My cute wardrobe also had to be altered — meaning it was so cold I had to wear the only warm thing I brought with me which was a black zip-up hoodie.

We decided to go to dinner one night after my best friend got off work. I was wearing printed leggings, a sleeveless top and the hoodie with my hair in a ponytail. I was dressed fine for dinner, but I didn’t know we would be going out afterward.

Not caring, I stepped out of the Uber. Before I could take two steps onto the sidewalk, a cute guy (I thought he looked like a young Joaquin Phoenix, but my best friend said he looked like a young Tom Cruise) came running toward me yelling, “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”

I was thinking, “What have I done now? I literally just stepped out of the Uber and onto the sidewalk … I couldn’t have done anything yet!”

When he got right in front of me, he said, “Oh, my God! I saw your eyes half a block away! You are so beautiful!”

I smiled and said, “Thank you so much! That’s so nice of you to say!”

He went on to ask me my name, and when I told him he said, “Oh, my God! You’re beautiful and have a pretty name!”

It reminded me of Deuteronomy 28:2 (CSB), “All these blessings will come and overtake you” — basically chase you down and shower you will blessings, or compliments in this case.

We didn’t get to talk much because a girl in his group pulled him and his friend away. When I told my best friend that we didn’t even know his name she said, “Oh, yes we do! It’s Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” (She’s a former actress and reenacts the story so much better than I do.)

Just a week ago, I was having dinner alone in a restaurant. I was enjoying my salad and absorbed with solving the problems of my kingdom inside my head. With a mouth full of salad, I heard a voice say, “Excuse me.” I looked up to see an athletic guy standing at my table. He said, “In case no one has told you today, you look very beautiful!” Covering my full mouth, I mumbled, “Thank you!”

Once again, I was not dressed up or looking my absolute best, at all — I had just spent the day taking care of some projects at home and was on my way to the grocery store after I fed myself. I did not feel beautiful in any way, but I needed to be reminded of my true nature.

When you have healthy self-love/self-esteem, you don’t need outside validation. However, it’s always nice and makes you feel good. Especially so, when those kind words of affirmation come from someone you truly love.

If you’re in a marriage or committed relationship, it’s always a good idea to let your loved one know how much you care for them. Like they say, flowers are meant to be enjoyed by the living, not the dead — meaning don’t wait until someone dies to send them flowers or tell them how much they mean to you.

Whether you’re in a relationship or alone, it’s important to show that love and admiration to yourself. I look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I’m beautiful — inside and out. I show gratitude for all the things I have internally and externally.

Seeking validation from outside ourselves is dangerous. I’ve learned this truth the hard way.

Melody Beattie explains it in her book The Language of Letting Go:

Most of us want the approval of others … In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves. We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that’s the only approval that counts.

It’s been my experience that when I truly practice self-love, the validation I get from others is nice and very much appreciated. However, I don’t go chasing after it or doing things to get attention because I already have it from myself.

How are you keeping your Summer romance alive for the rest of the year?

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the bookstore today!

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Getting the royal treatment

I’m always talking about being a princess and being royal …. That’s why I have to share this story.

I took a trip to Los Angeles to see my best friend earlier this summer, and the flight crew was INCREDIBLE to me that night! Let me start by saying that flying is not the most enjoyable thing for me to do, especially since I typically travel alone.

You see, I have been diagnosed with a rare eye disease that has caused me to lose all my night vision (it’s hard to see in low light situations too), and I’ve lost most of my peripheral vision. Airports are nightmares for me because people are often pushing and shoving and walking in front of me. That’s why I usually try to preboard … Finding my seat with those tiny letters and numbers usually takes me more time than most, and I sometimes need the help of a flight attendant.

That particular flight, I did preboard, and a lovely flight attendant named Sue helped me find my seat. The flight was delayed due to some flight numbers the crew was waiting on. When we left Dallas, it was still daylight, but it had turned dark by the time we arrived at LAX.

We landed in a remote gate requiring deplaning off a ramp and getting on a tram to get into the airport. The flight crew told us that we had to quickly deplane and get immediately on the tram. I was nervous because of my vision issues and not knowing what lighting situation or obstacles I would be facing once I stepped out of the plane (or all the pushing and shoving I would experience from other passengers), Honestly, I was envisioning a long staircase like on Air Force One. On a trip to L.A. as a teenager, we had to deplane like that. I knew that wouldn’t work for me now in the dark. I waited for many of the passengers to get off the plane before finding Sue and asking for help. She was so kind and had me sit in first class while everyone got off the plane.

The Princess Guide Senee seale
Me on vacation in L.A., May 2019

While I was waiting, she told me I was beautiful, gracious and graceful. She said she didn’t even know I had a vision problem because I carry myself with such poise. (People tell me that a lot.) Honestly, it surprised me because I felt like a hot mess! I hate having to ask for help, and when I do, sometimes I’m told “NO!” So, I just try to do things on my own … I’m pretty stubborn when I want something and don’t give up easily.

A runway worker came and escorted me off the plane and onto the tram. As the tram was coming to a stop at the terminal, I heard Sue talking to the pilot (I think he said his name was Chuck from Dallas). Next thing I knew, he grabbed my hand, had his copilot grab my bag and escorted me through LAX to the arrivals area. Not only that, but he waited with me at the curb until my best friend arrived and helped her get my bag in the car! Then he hugged us both.

The Princess Guide Senee seale

You don’t get the pilot and his copilot to personally escort you through an airport and carry your bags if you’re not royal! It still shocks me because I’ve had so many people in my life put me down and tell me I’m not as good as I think I am, but when something like this happens, I have to acknowledge that I am, indeed, a princess, a royal. If fascinates me how hard I have tried to prove myself to some people who crap all over me, lie about me, use me and throw me aside like yesterday’s trash. Then, random strangers of position speak their true observations about me and treat me like the princess I know deep down inside I am — it changes EVERYTHING! It puts everything (especially the bad stuff and people) into right perspective.

I’m eternally grateful for the help and kindness they all showed me! I’m now an American Airlines customer for life! And I am, once again, reminded that no matter how bad the haters treat me, it doesn’t change the fact that I am royal, and that I’m still on my throne and wearing my crown.

What random acts have made you realized your true identity?

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Back to school

Here in Texas, Summer is in full force with a string of oppressive 100 degree-plus days. Nonetheless, school buses have made their reappearance all over my neighborhood signaling the end of Summer. (If only … I’m ready for Fall, y’all!)

It’s that time of the year when Summer is over, and everyone is either already gone back to school or is preparing to go back. I always loved this time of year. I loved the Friday night Texas high school football games (and pep rallies), college (Texas Tech and UT Austin) and NFL (Dallas Cowboys) football games, State Fair of Texas, cooler weather and all the holidays at the end of the year (including my birthday). But most of all, I loved learning.

Just because you may not be in a classroom doesn’t mean that you have to — or even should — stop learning. It’s something you should be doing from the time you arrive on this planet until the moment you exit. I learn new things every, single day, and I get so excited about them that I want to share the information with everyone — It’s the journalist in me. But I have been accused on at least one occasion of trying to teach someone who wasn’t interested in learning. That blew my mind because I’m always open to new information and learning as much as I can about everything.

I had an interviewer ask me recently where did I rate my news level on a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being a total news hound. I told him that I’ve had to make myself pull back on my news consumption for my own positive mental health. The truth is, I practice what I preach, and when I wrote about controlling your own mind (the topic of the book I’m currently writing) in my first book The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart, I have done what I suggested by limiting social media and traditional media. I am still very informed about what’s going on in the world — it appears I know more than most people who claim to be up on current events. However, I don’t consume it nearly 24 hours a day like I used to.

When he asked me where do I get my news, I gave what I knew to be the “acceptable” answer — the Associated Press and CNN, but then I also told the truth … That I also listen to alternative sources so that I can get all the information available and make up my own mind about a topic. He was quiet when I said that.

It really upsets me that the profession I had wanted to be a part of all my life has turned into something from George Orwell’s book 1984. (I saw the movie a couple of years ago online, and it was so riveting that I couldn’t even take a bathroom break or press the pause button!) I became a journalist so that I could tell the truth, gather all the facts available, present them to the readers and let them make up their own minds. It’s essentially what I do here today. I was able to do that at most of the newsrooms I worked in until recently.

Journalism was always about presenting the facts as best as they could be gathered, and letting the reader use that information to make the best decisions for their lives. Now, however, it has turned into talking points from whomever signs the paychecks. How can you learn if information is being suppressed or withheld?

In recent months, I’ve come to realize that I am a princess from another place, and that I came here to learn lessons — much like going away to college — and to help people. We don’t have to live this life perfectly. As long as we’re learning and making behavioral corrections, we are doing life perfectly. It reminds me of the song by Level 42, Lessons in Love:

“Lessons in love. When will you ever learn? Lessons in love. When there’s nowhere left to turn … All the dreams that we were building, we never lived them. Could be better. Should be better. Lessons in love. All those plans that we were making are ours for the taking. We could lose it. We should use it. Lessons in love. All the homes that we were building, we never lived in. Could be better. Should be better. Lessons in love. If we lose the time before us, the future will ignore us. We should use it. We could use it. Lessons in love.”

Lessons of the heart can be the hardest. That’s why I write about them so much. They can be our most important lessons. Please, don’t stop learning. Don’t stop learning the personal lessons life/God/the Universe/Source/Creator is trying to teach you. Use what information others have assembled to help you on your journey, but always know that all the answers are within you. This is such a powerful realization I’ve had in the last few months that I’m including it in the updated version of The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart.

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the bookstore today!

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Eyes to see: Being grateful for the small things

On a mini vacation this summer to a family friend’s lake house, I was amazed one night to see two lightening bugs playing with each other — I sat there on the deck and watched them for quite some time. I was also so stunned to see the light of a boat driving by on the lake. These are normal, everyday occurrences for most people, but for me, they are miracles.

You see, more than 20 years ago while I was in college studying journalism and fashion design, I was diagnosed with a rare eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP). I saw specialists from Dallas to Germany, and they all told me the same thing — there is no treatment or cure for it and that I needed to learn to be a blind person. I finally did consent to mobility training and learned to use a white cane. However, I’m stubborn when I really want or believe in something. I have never accepted that I will go completely blind — in spite of losing my night vision and most of my peripheral vision — and I’ve always believed that I could be healed. After studying psychology, neuroscience and biology, I know how powerful our minds and bodies are. They can heal themselves. Just cut your finger and watch the process before your very eyes.

Right after Thanksgiving 2015, I changed my diet and started taking supplements, per the advice of a doctor at a wellness center in West Texas. At Christmas break (I was in graduate school at the time studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling) I went to the wellness center for two weeks of detox treatments and monitoring of my diet. (I’m not a morning person, but they forced me to drink carrot juice and protein shakes and eat the approved foods from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Then during the early evening and night when I was used to eating because of hunger, food was very limited or not available at all.) Three months later, I was finally able to see a holistic doctor in Houston who a graduate school friend recommended because he had success treating and reversing RP. (The wellness center never had an RP case before, but got me started on the right track.) The doctor further refined my diet and prescribed all new supplements.

In the first nine months, I lost 70 pounds — It was amazing because no matter what I did, I couldn’t lose weight … not even for my wedding or college graduation. However, the vision didn’t seem to be returning very quickly.

I wasn’t born with vision issues. In fact, I had perfect 20/20 vision throughout childhood and my teenage years. In early summer 2018, I saw my first lightening bug since I was a child. Seeing those two playing in summer 2019 at the lake vacation was just a sign from the universe to me that my vision and body were going to make a turnaround.

Just a few days before that trip, I asked my eyes what they were afraid to see. The details of the ugliness in the world? Possibly, but I can still see it every single day — And more importantly, I FEEL it every single day. Just because you can’t see something doesn’t make it go away. I gave myself permission to see the ugly details of the world, observe them and not try to fix them — just let them be as they are.

I also decided on that trip that I was no longer going to allow people to shame this princess because she has physical limitations she is overcoming. We are ALL beautiful and have so many positive gifts to share with the world — I don’t care if you’re fat, skinny, short, tall, straight, gay, confused (most of us are confused in some form or fashion at some point in life) or if you’re a princess with vision issues. We can no longer let the haters put us down or stop us from being used at our full potential!

I’m truly grateful for the little things. They give me hope that bigger and better things are coming soon. I’m also convinced that talking to your body works … even if it takes a while for it to manifest.

What little things are you grateful for and observing in your life today?

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart.”