As the Summer winds down, many of you have fallen in love and had the time of your lives. I haven’t had a Summer romance in seven years, but I’ve had a couple of encounters this Summer that have reinforced my primary love affair.
I went on vacation early in the Summer to visit my best friend in Los Angeles. It was surprisingly cold there, and my plans to spend the week on the beach were interrupted. My cute wardrobe also had to be altered — meaning it was so cold I had to wear the only warm thing I brought with me which was a black zip-up hoodie.
We decided to go to dinner one night after my best friend got off work. I was wearing printed leggings, a sleeveless top and the hoodie with my hair in a ponytail. I was dressed fine for dinner, but I didn’t know we would be going out afterward.
Not caring, I stepped out of the Uber. Before I could take two steps onto the sidewalk, a cute guy (I thought he looked like a young Joaquin Phoenix, but my best friend said he looked like a young Tom Cruise) came running toward me yelling, “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”
I was thinking, “What have I done now? I literally just stepped out of the Uber and onto the sidewalk … I couldn’t have done anything yet!”
When he got right in front of me, he said, “Oh, my God! I saw your eyes half a block away! You are so beautiful!”
I smiled and said, “Thank you so much! That’s so nice of you to say!”
He went on to ask me my name, and when I told him he said, “Oh, my God! You’re beautiful and have a pretty name!”
It reminded me of Deuteronomy 28:2 (CSB), “All these blessings will come and overtake you” — basically chase you down and shower you will blessings, or compliments in this case.
We didn’t get to talk much because a girl in his group pulled him and his friend away. When I told my best friend that we didn’t even know his name she said, “Oh, yes we do! It’s Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” (She’s a former actress and reenacts the story so much better than I do.)
Just a week ago, I was having dinner alone in a restaurant. I was enjoying my salad and absorbed with solving the problems of my kingdom inside my head. With a mouth full of salad, I heard a voice say, “Excuse me.” I looked up to see an athletic guy standing at my table. He said, “In case no one has told you today, you look very beautiful!” Covering my full mouth, I mumbled, “Thank you!”
Once again, I was not dressed up or looking my absolute best, at all — I had just spent the day taking care of some projects at home and was on my way to the grocery store after I fed myself. I did not feel beautiful in any way, but I needed to be reminded of my true nature.
When you have healthy self-love/self-esteem, you don’t need outside validation. However, it’s always nice and makes you feel good. Especially so, when those kind words of affirmation come from someone you truly love.
If you’re in a marriage or committed relationship, it’s always a good idea to let your loved one know how much you care for them. Like they say, flowers are meant to be enjoyed by the living, not the dead — meaning don’t wait until someone dies to send them flowers or tell them how much they mean to you.
Whether you’re in a relationship or alone, it’s important to show that love and admiration to yourself. I look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I’m beautiful — inside and out. I show gratitude for all the things I have internally and externally.
Seeking validation from outside ourselves is dangerous. I’ve learned this truth the hard way.
Melody Beattie explains it in her book The Language of Letting Go:
Most of us want the approval of others … In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves. We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that’s the only approval that counts.
It’s been my experience that when I truly practice self-love, the validation I get from others is nice and very much appreciated. However, I don’t go chasing after it or doing things to get attention because I already have it from myself.
How are you keeping your Summer romance alive for the rest of the year?
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Wow!!! is all I can say. I enjoyed every word kije a sweet ointment beibg poured firth. There are six of us gere hanging on to your every word