Just for the record, I do not dress up for Halloween or celebrate it at all. (I’ll write about that another time.) If I do anything, I wear my crown and am my authentic self. Which brings us to today’s post … Since Halloween is less than a week away, it’s a good time to flashback to 2014 and talk about your costumes …
When I was a little girl, I loved Halloween because it was the one day of the year when you can be anyone you want. However, as an adult I deeply value authenticity. The people who I admire most all live as their true selves no matter who likes it. (I admire this trait, but it also infuriates me when dealing with behaviors that need to change because it can manifest as stubbornness and unwillingness to change.)
When I was a teenager, I held a state office in a national student leadership association and became aware of the term “personality masking.” This occurs when a person doesn’t feel accepted enough to be their authentic self.
Feel Happiness gives this advice for taking off your mask and living authentically:
- Do you understand the frame? The “frame” of an interaction is the unwritten context behind it. In other words, it is the roles that you and everyone you interact with are playing. Understand the frame, and act appropriately.
- Do you feel “off?” You can “feel” the incongruency of your social mask most of the time. Since it drains your energy, it might manifest itself as a feeling of exhaustion, or just general discomfort. When you notice this feeling, try to drop the social mask and act congruent (in alignment with your values).
- What do you like about yourself? Write a list of the fantastic things you have to offer. They won’t be things that everyone will value, but that doesn’t matter. They just have to be things that you like about yourself.
- Accept yourself Flaws and all. You are who you are. The person you are right now is OK. All the good things and the bad things about you make you unique and should be cherished.
- Stop judging other people Pay attention to the negative qualities in other people, and you will only find more negative qualities in yourself. Just as you’ve accepted yourself, you need to accept other people for the way they are.
- Step out of your comfort zone Taking off your social mask will feel uncomfortable at first. When you start doing the things you are afraid of, your comfort zone expands. It becomes easier.
- You aren’t the only person with issues Everyone has issues. Everyone has insecurities. If you act like your true self, people won’t think less of you. Instead, they’ll be wondering what you think of them.
- Don’t go too far Some people have the exact opposite problem of wearing a social mask. These are the people who share every detail of their lives with you, even if you don’t know them well. Don’t share too much about yourself. Remember to consider the social context that you are in.
Masks and costumes are for Halloween. Enjoy dressing up, but spend the rest of the year being your true self … It looks great on you!
If you enjoy this content and would like to read Senée’s books for free, get on the Royal Team. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the bookstore today!
