There was a recent story in the news about a couple of black men who went to a Philadelphia Starbucks and refused to buy anything or leave when asked by store employees. When the police arrived, they refused to leave then too and were arrested. Starbucks corporate office declined to press charges, and they were released. This entitlement attitude is becoming an epidemic and has to stop.
I can’t get into my car – in the city or country side – without someone riding my back bumper, passing me illegally on two-lane highways or cutting me off nearly hitting my car when there is plenty of room for them to drive behind me. (And no, I don’t drive like an old lady. I have a car that wants to drive over 100 miles per hour that I have to hold back … I’ll admit that I go the speed limit and sometimes five miles over.) There is no excuse for such reckless, self-absorbed behavior.
If you’re running late, that’s your own fault for not getting up earlier and leaving at an appropriate time. You don’t deserve to drive in front of anyone else. You don’t deserve to use a business wifi for free without buying something either. Those perks are there for paying customers.
There were several times when I was in undergrad and graduate school when I moved apartments or had people working on my complex electricity, and I had to go to McDonald’s or Starbucks and use their internet service. I always bought something and told the employees and managers that I needed to camp out for a little while and use their internet and/or electricity. More than once, I had the manager be very gracious toward me and invite me back any time I wanted.
For those of you participating such bad behavior, I’m really sorry to have to break this news to many of you, but you are not the sun. You do not provide sustaining light, vitamin D and plasma/gravity to keep the planets in orbit around you and sustain life on planet earth.
As I wrote about in my book The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart (and I’m currently writing about in a new book on the topic of being royal), Narcissism has become an epidemic in our society. I blame it on Baby Boomers and Helicopter Parents. Instead of teaching the younger generations how to be humble, gracious, self-reliant and of service to others, you have taught them through behavior modeling and enabling that they are entitled to anything they want from people – and it’s wrong!
The psychological diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is derived from this story. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), “The essential features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.
“Individuals with this disorder have a grandiose sense of self-importance (Criterion 1). They routinely overestimate their abilities and inflate their accomplishments, often appearing boastful and pretentious. They may bitterly assume the same value to their efforts and may be surprised when the praise they expect and feel they deserve is not forthcoming … Individuals with (NPD) are often preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (Criterion 2) … Individuals with (NPD) believe that they are superior, special, or unique, and expect others to recognize them as such (Criterion 3) … Individuals with this disorder generally require excessive admiration (Criterion 4) … A sense of entitlement is evident in these individuals’ unreasonable expectation of especially favorable treatment (Criterion 5) … This sense of entitlement, combined with a lack of sensitivity to the wants and needs of others, may result in the conscious or unwriting exploitation of others (Criterion 6) … Individuals with (NPD) generally have a lack of empathy and have difficulty recognizing the desires, subjective experiences, and feelings of others (Criterion 7) … These individuals are often envious of others or believe that others are envious of them (Criterion 8).”
Five or more of these features will qualify someone for the disorder. “Of those diagnosed with (NPD), 50-75% are male,” according to the DSM-5. The manual also stated that up to 6.2% of the population has been diagnosed with the disorder.
I am speaking the TRUTH to you in LOVE.
We have to get back to basics, y’all. Jesus said in Matthew 7:12, “Do for others what you want them to do for you; this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of the teachings of the prophets.” President John F. Kennedy said, “So my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together what we can do for the freedom of man.”
I’m seeing people behaving badly almost on a daily basis. They are not treating others the way they want to be treated. They are acting like their wants and needs are above all others and more important. This is not the proper way to act. The royal, Kingdom of Heaven way to treat others is to follow the instructions of Jesus.
Your parents, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, children, acquaintances, etc. may tell you that you are the best thing since sliced bread. I sincerely hope that you are loved unconditionally by at least one person in your life – I truly want that for you more than anything – but these people are doing you a disservice if they are enabling your bad behavior. A society cannot be sustained and prosper when it is full of selfish, self-absorbed, entitled people.
It isn’t healthy self-esteem to treat others badly. That actually proves that you have low self-esteem because you don’t respect yourself enough to treat others the way you want them to treat you. Gretchen Ruben puts it quite well in the art for this blog post. Humans don’t respect people who constantly hurt and demean others – especially if they have experienced it for themselves from that person or have seen that behavior in action from that person.
Today is a great day to change! It’s a new opportunity to truly show love and compassion for everyone you come into contact with, and I deeply hope you decide to be the better, royal person you were created to be!
Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart”by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.
