ChChChCh … Changes

ChChChCh … Changes

It’s so interesting for me to read these Flashback Friday posts and remember what was going on in my life when I wrote them. Some of them are just me researching and writing to solve my own problems, and other times they were just a product of sharing with you what was on my heart.

I certainly was going through some of my own changes when I wrote this post in 2016 … I had just quit graduate school and started writing The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart. I didn’t know what my future held at that moment, but I knew I had to write that book and get it published. We’ve been focusing on flexibility and active waiting this week at The Princess Guide, and changes certainly require use to practice both. Let’s dive deeper into the subject …

I can’t seem to get that David Bowie song out of my head! It’s funny, I was telling my trusted advisor yesterday that it seems like lately all the memes I’m creating have this theme of changing … Come to think of it, my blog posts have had that same theme.

As I was telling her, it hasn’t been a conscious decision, but I’ve been transforming outside and in, and I think it’s coming out in my work now.

I truly believe that your insides always show on your outside — maybe not immediately, but over a relatively short period of time they just do. Even with my vision issues, I can look at someone and tell what’s going on inside their heads.

I’ve seen women who have been hurt by men in their pasts. Instead of working on themselves and starting anew, they have held on to the anger, hurt, bitterness and have looked for ways to get revenge or their own brand of justice by trying to hurt those men and make them feel the same kind of pain they do. You know what happens to these women? They literally look old, haggard and bitter — their faces look like they just sucked on a ripe lemon. Seriously!

Then, there are the men whose bodies are bigger than their heads. They made grave mistakes in life, but instead of repenting to the women and children they hurt and trying to restore their relationships and make things right, they dove head first into the bottle or pot pipe. They no longer wear their “happy smiles” but sport a straight lipped stance with bloodshot and clouded eyes. The weight their bodies are carrying speak volumes about the torment going on inside their heads.

All these people are living miserable existences and everyone can see it. They don’t need a “help me” sign around their necks because their faces and bodies scream it for them. Does this describe you? If so, I have good news … It’s NEVER too late to change as long as you’re breathing!

how to make changes in your life, your self-esteem will suffer, getting higher self-esteem,

I’m a prime example that you’re never too old, too big, too stubborn … too anything to change. I shared my story in a post a few weeks ago about the transformation I’ve been going through. I’m still amazed when I look in the mirror and see the muscle definition in my stomach (without working out) or when I go to try on clothes and have to ask for an extra small — just two short years ago I was squeezing into a size 14 jeans in total denial and last year was proud of myself for losing 10-15 pounds and wearing stretchy size 10 shorts.

I know where I was and how hard it was to lose just 10 pounds — a year ago I thought it was nearly impossible. Today, 10 pounds is nothing! Can you see, when you overcome something that seems big in your eyes, that giant turns into an ant to you?

Now, I’m not telling you that change is possible overnight … It may seem like it happened really quickly, as in my case, and the cognitive dissonance kicks in. However, change really is a process.

I love what Case Kenny, editor-in-chef of wrote recently, “Simply put, if your daily actions and decisions aren’t in line with who you want to be and where you want to go, your self-esteem will suffer.”

Sometimes you have to put on a new pair of glasses (figuratively) and change your focus. Like Dr. Wayne Dyer always said, “What you focus on expands,” and “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

For me, I completely changed my focus from desperately wanting to lose weight to wanting my vision and health to improve even if I never lost any more weight. Isn’t it funny how that works? The weight loss has been my only barometer to measure if my health is improving, but I know it must be because of the changes I’m seeing on the outside of my body — back to how I believe the outside matches the inside. I just take each day at a time and do the things in that 24 hours that the doctor has instructed me to do … It’s that simple. One day at a time, just like they teach in 12-step recovery programs.

I’ve been saying it a lot lately, but you really can change, and it doesn’t take a big overhaul to make it happen. Consistent daily actions create your tomorrow — good or bad.

Comment and tell us how you’re imitating positive changes in your life!

You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. If you want to know more how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

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