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The beauty of changing seasons

We’ve officially entered a new season — Spring. I’m incredibly grateful for the change. Some people believe that this season is actually the beginning of a new year. I have to agree with them this year and welcome the change.

To say this Winter has been a hard one for me would be a gigantic understatement. Not only have I dealt with some personal issues that I’m writing about in my upcoming book, but January felt like an entire year by itself and I went through a freak Texas snowstorm in February all alone.

The snowstorm (which is rare for us to have snow in North Texas to begin with) put us all back in lockdown again. Two days before the storm hit, I was able to locate firewood in a nearby suburb after days of scouring every store where I usually buy it. I was happy about that, but I did not expect to be without power for three days straight. The management of my complex told us to keep the faucets dripping, the cabinet doors open and the temperature above 55-degrees. The power distributor sent out notices that we should keep our heaters on 68-degrees or lower. Mine was already there.

I’m not going to lie — I am not a camper or someone who is good at surviving in the wilderness. I tried lighting a fire in my fireplace after the power went out, but keeping it going was challenging. Staying warm from it was even harder. Doing something as simple as heating water in a coffee kettle was impossible. I survived on a couple of handfuls of organic tortilla chips per day. I was wearing two layers of pants and tops, five layers of socks and house shoes, a hat, a hooded winter coat, a full-length mink coat and my granny’s fuzzy shearling housecoat. The warmest place in my townhouse was in my bed under every blanket I owned with my head covered. Hot water was non-existent for a couple of days after the power came back on. So, taking a hot bath to warm up wasn’t an option. Going to a hotel with power wasn’t an option, either because I couldn’t drive in snow — I tried driving down the street to get hot coffee and got stuck several times.

Once the electricity came back on, my thermostat said it was 33-degrees inside my house. Just a couple of hours after the electricity came back on with rolling blackouts, water started pouring from my light fixtures in my office and laundry room. It sounded like Niagara Falls inside my townhouse and flooded my laundry room, kitchen, office, hallway and part of my living room floors. Thank God it happened downstairs where I have hardwood floors and that none of my books or electronics were damaged.

I had never been so grateful for coffee and electricity in my life. Like everything else I’ve been through during my existence, I survived, but it really made me wish that I had a partner to go through that hardship with. It was hard on my married friends, but it was even harder on me going through it all by myself. Now, do you see why I’m so happy for a change?

This too shall pass

I’ve written about being grateful for new seasons. We experience new weather seasons about every three months. We also experience new seasons in life. That can look like any big change such as a new job, new relationship, new living location, the birth of a child, etc. It’s important to remember that we need to watch our thinking and attitudes at the beginning of any new season in life.

Senee Seale The Princess Guide
The flowers my grandfather planted decades ago continue to bloom every Spring — nearly 20 years after his death. Hope truly springs eternal.

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” wrote William James.

I remember when I moved into my townhouse nearly three years ago. When I move into a new place, I usually sleep so peacefully the first night and wake up happy, refreshed and hopeful. Not so this time. In fact, I had a neighbor call the apartment manager and onsite security on me the first day because her assigned parking spot was directly in front of my private sidewalk and private entrance, and my moving truck was temporarily parked there while my things were being unloaded. The bullying continued for months, unfortunately. I remember having my sleep interrupted many times during that first night — very unusual for me since I sleep soundly once I fall asleep. I woke up the next day basically crying and in internal turmoil. I thought many times during the first few months about moving. That was a serious thought since I hate moving with a passion.

Things have gotten better. It’s like the saying goes, “This too shall pass.” I had to feel the negative emotions caused by an outside person, release them and continue on with my life focusing on the positive things. Sometimes, new seasons appear to be negative because of choices we’ve made in previous seasons or because of people outside ourselves causing us problems because of jealousy, insecurity, a sense of entitlement or just because they think they can. It’s very important in these times to let the process play out, focus on being positive, practice gratitude and loving yourself first.

Endings are really new beginnings

Change is always an opportunity for growth — no matter if you experience positive or negative circumstances. You get to determine how outside events will affect you. I recommend allowing the pressure to create diamonds and the fire to refine you like pure gold. Keeping the faith and keeping hope alive will make a big difference in your outlook on life.

Endings don’t have to be negative things. They can be the catalyst to propel you to greater things and positive transformation — you decide.

“When something ends it seems like the end of something,” wrote Hemal Radi. “Consider that the ending of it was actually part of the process of something new beginning.”

I’m not pretending that being positive in the face of negativity is easy. It certainly isn’t. However, like Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say, “What you focus on expands.” I’ve found this to be true. Psychology calls it a self-fulfilling prophesy. So, it’s imperative that you focus on the good things, things that are true, lovely, of good report [Philippians 4:8]. I don’t care what anyone says … If it makes you feel good (even if it’s just a daydream) this is what you need to focus on. Dr. Dyer used to say that since God is good, feeling good is feeling God. I wholeheartedly agree.

Take care of you

Sometimes, (and I believe it should be often in today’s society) it’s important to take a break during a new season. You may not be able to take a week off for a Spring Break, but you can turn your phone off on weekends and evenings or refuse to respond to or entertain negative people. You can have lunch in a beautiful place that makes your heart flutter, take a walk in nature, go to the lake or even watch beach movies and let yourself dream about the life you want to have. If you crave a change of scenery or location but you can’t afford one at the moment, you can always clean out your current living space, rearrange the furniture or do small renovations or furniture repurposing. Taking a hot bubble bath and pampering yourself is another way to rejuvenate your spirit on the cheap. This is all called good self-care. It was drilled into me during graduate school and is imperative for positive mental health.

Being authentic, practicing good self-care and focusing on being the best you that you can be is imperative. “Wake up every morning with a greater sense of self and the courage to let the true you shine,” Dr. Sue Morter.

Take the time this new season to stop and smell the flowers, enjoy the warmer weather, get outside and appreciate nature and do the things that make you feel good. Here’s to a new season.

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. If you’d like to work directly with Senée, she’s accepting new clients.

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Seasons change: Don’t worry, be happy

Autumn has arrived on the calendar, but here in Texas, it’s still Summer … I saw pumpkins outside my grocery store today literally getting sunburned! I feel like Rapunzel needing to let down my long hair, but it’s just too hot to do that.  

The Princess Guide Senee Seale

This is my favorite time of year because now until the end of the year, it’s full of football, festivals (Oktoberfest, the State Fair of Texas, pumpkin patches, art festivals, etc.), celebrations (homecomings, my birthday, Halloween/Harvest, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s) and the temperature loses its oppressive heat and eventually, slowly becomes comfortable. Waiting for that to happen is the hard part. (I wrote on social media recently that I was having trouble waiting for things to happen.)

I love seasons because when one becomes too much to deal with or boring, you know a change will most definitely be coming (unless you live in a place like Southern California where it’s hot year-round, or at least it was the semester I was in graduate school there … I was rummaging through my closet on Thanksgiving Day to find a sleeveless shirt to wear in the 90-degree heat while eating my turkey dinner — not fun for me!)

My pastor outside Nashville once said, “Some people are seasonal people, and some people are meant to be in your life for the long-term.” At the time, that statement hurt me. I realize now, almost two decades later, that I wasn’t hurt. I was offended — that’s much worse in my book because being offended is a choice we each make. In the last almost 20 years, I’ve watched the revolving door of people walk in and out of my life. Some of them were supposed to be forever friends and family. I had to learn the hard lesson that even those you love the most and are closest to can choose to leave. When this happens, your season changes.

These changes can be difficult, but they don’t have to be. It’s all in our perception. We can choose how we view events in our lives. I believe three of the most important tools for dealing with change and new seasons are optimism, joy and gratitude.

The glass is half FULL

William James put it best, “It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.”

You’ll get what you look for. If you’re looking for misery, you will find it. If you are looking for beauty, you will find that, too. The great thing about it is that YOU get to decide what you want to look for. Yes, change can be crappy. It can — and usually is — full of difficult moments, but it can also have beautiful moments, too. I think the reason we don’t see or focus on the beauty is because there are typically more negatives in a situation to take our attention away from the positives.

When I was studying Marriage & Family Therapy in graduate school, I came across a quote from Gary Zukav in our textbook Culturally Competent Counseling, “Reality is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. What we take to be true is our reality.”

Think about the gold miners during the gold rush. Did they dip their pans in the water and pull them out full of gold? No! They were lucky to find a small nugget, but that small nugget was worth a ton of money and all the trouble it took to find it.

We create our reality, and reframing negative events to see the good in them is a great practice to put into action so that, over time, it becomes automatic. When you catch yourself having negative thoughts, redirect them and encourage yourself. Look for the beauty in the change, even if it’s tiny.

“When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do. And so, he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, ‘You’re going to have a big family, Abraham!’” Romans 4:18 (MSG).

CHOOSING joy/happiness

This year, I’ve seen an explosion of online personalities talking about happiness. It became a buzzword a few months ago with CEO of VaynerMedia, Gary Vee (Vaynerchuk) talking about it on social media. Then all these other content creators followed suit bombarding my inbox and social media feeds with their pitches on why I needed to buy their online courses to learn to be happy.

While Gary Vee is usually the trendsetter, it was ME who began talking about joy and happiness with blog posts in 2014, and I wrote a newspaper article about it in 2006. There’s a lot of scientific research to show that being happy and having joy in your life will not only make you feel better, but it can enhance your health and longevity.

Here’s the thing: Happiness is an inside job. It isn’t something you find externally. It’s taken me more than four decades to realize this. (I’m working on a book about being happy in which I take you on my journey of regaining my joy/happiness … Stay tuned for information on that!)

This meme really sums it up, “I am in charge of how I feel, and today I am choosing happiness.” You have the power to be happy or miserable. The choice is up to you.

Being grateful for EVERYTHING

I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll continue to say it: I believe that one of the greatest traits of a princess (anyone resonating on a higher frequency) is gratitude. What is gratitude? Webster Illustrated Contemporary Dictionary defines gratitude and grateful as “A feeling of thankfulness; having or expressing gratitude, thankful; affording gratification (the act of gratitude or the state of being gratified).”

“Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will],” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (Amplified Bible).

The bad things will all work out for your good — maybe not immediately, but eventually you will see that what looked like a devastating storm actually gave you the chance to rebuild your life into the dream house you’ve always wanted.

I was watching one of my favorite movies The Lake House recently and was reminded of a song I loved as a little girl by Carole King called It’s too late. I really love the lines of the last verse:

There will be good times again for me and you, but we just can’t stay together. Can’t you feel it too? Still I’m glad for what we had and how I once loved you. But it’s too late baby. Now it’s too late. Though we really did try to make it. Something inside has died and I can’t hide and I just can’t fake it. No, no, no

Even though she’s singing about the ending of a relationship, I love how she focuses on the gratitude she has for the experience. There is beauty in every experience — even the bad ones that devastate us and bring us to our knees. We have to look for it.

“When something ends it seems like the end of something. Consider that the ending of it was actually part of the process of something new beginning,” wrote Hemal Radi.

How can you put optimism, joy/happiness and gratitude into practice during the changing seasons in your own life?

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