Tag: COVID-19

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Being grateful for even the events of 2020

It’s my birthday month, and this time of year I’m always reflecting over the past year and my choices. To say that 2020 has been a rough year would be a total understatement, but it’s also been a great year for me on many levels. I’ve grown so much in so many ways. I was finally healed and transformed enough to see things clearly and make decisions that I had been sitting on for years. You could say that the transformation process became evident in 2020 with clear 20/20 vision.

During the lockdown, people often asked me how I was doing sheltering in place all alone. I would always tell them that I was doing great having dance parties in my house alone, connecting with people I hadn’t talked with in years and using gratitude on a daily basis. It’s easy to be grateful for the good things that happen to us. We should be grateful in those moments, but it’s much more important (and essential for our overall growth) to employ gratitude when things aren’t that great. There were times this year that I literally had to force gratitude in disappointing situations, but it was worth it because it changed me for the better. It changed my perspective and my energy. It gave me hope and a positive outlook on life.

As I wrote about in The Princess Guide to Gratitude, this quote from Albert Schweitzer has taken on new meaning and truth to me, “The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life; giving thanks for everything.”

Yes, it’s proper and wonderful to be grateful to those who do or say nice things for and to you, but it’s much more Important to be grateful for those who have showed up in your life as tyrants (it isn’t easy to do in the moment but vitally important) because those people are your greatest teachers, as Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say. They are also the ones who will cause you to transform, if you allow it.

Senee Seale The Princess Guide

 

As I mentioned in The Princess Guide to Gratitude, in a 2003 study, researchers Watkins, Woodward, Stone and Kolts found that grateful people tend to share four characteristics:

  1. They do not feel deprived in life.
  2. They appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being.
  3. They appreciate simple pleasures (pleasurable things that are freely available to most everyone). When a person appreciates simple pleasures, they are likely to experience grateful feelings more often due to frequently being appreciative of commonly occurring experiences.
  4. Grateful people acknowledge the important role of experiencing and expressing gratitude.

As the seasons have changed recently from Summer to Fall, we can always expect seasons in life to change, as well. Even what appears to be negative changes can work out for our highest good, if we allow them to by focusing on gratitude and changing the things within us that we can change.

“These changes can be difficult, but they don’t have to be,” I wrote in The Princess Guide to Gratitude. “It’s all in our perception. We can choose how we view events in our lives. I believe three of the most important tools for dealing with change and new seasons are optimism, joy, and gratitude.”

In each moment, we have a choice of how we’re going to think and respond to events. Sometimes, our choice may be to have no response at all until we have more information and a clearer perspective of the situation. That’s perfectly fine, and the wisest choice of all. We have no control over others. However, we do have total control over the kingdom within ourselves. Staying on the throne and not allowing negative events and actions of those outside ourselves to control how we think and behave is a royal way to live life. Using gratitude — even for the bad stuff that happens — is a useful tool to help us in that process.

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

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Flashback Friday: Don’t let anyone take your crown

It’s been a challenging couple of weeks with many of us on Shelter In Place due to COVID-19 concerns. I’ve only left my house twice in the last two weeks, and the grocery run I went on this week resulted in a woman hitting me with my own shopping cart then smirking in delight when I said, “OUCH!” I’m not going to lie … I started thinking really negative thoughts toward her, but I snapped out of it and got away from her as far and as fast as I could. This is one time I can say I didn’t let anyone take my crown. Being cooped up for days on end can have a very negative effect on a person’s mental health. If you’re sheltering in place with negative people, that can be accelerated. Whether your sheltering in place alone or with family members, here is some advice from 2018 on how to stay on your throne in peace and not let anyone take your crown …

I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll say it again: I’m a work in progress. I’m better than I used to be, but I’m still not where I want to be. I want my initial reaction to anything to be that of love and peace, but sometimes it just isn’t. Sometimes, I still let people take my crown, or at least tilt it a little.

I’ve been in crisis, “Get ‘er done” mode at the magazine where I work salvaging a very late issue. I’ve been Princess Senée reporting for duty on the sinking Titanic. I’m doing everything in my power to save this ship. (I’m going to make it happen, even though there may be some parts dangling, the ship will not sink on my watch!) I’ve had the help of a couple of coworkers — to whom I’m eternally grateful for their help and cooperation. However, there are others who have just thrown obstacles in my way. It feels like I’m on the Titanic running around with my hair on fire trying to keep the ship from going under, and they’re in the life boat with their life jackets on screaming at me, “You’re doing it wrong!”

One person heard me asking for a specific name I couldn’t find online for a story I was editing. This person inserted themselves into the conversation telling me to go online (which I had already done). It was so bad I couldn’t even look at this person because, at the very least, they would have seen me rolling my eyes to the back of my head and biting my tongue to keep from saying what I was really feeling — my princess crown was definitely on tilt, and I hated it!

Don't let anyone take your crown

You see, we’re royalty. Our natural state resonates in the high energy of love, integrity and peace. When we allow others externally to bring our energy low to that of anger or frustration, we’ve handed them our crowns and are now allowing them to control our emotions. Christ told us that we are to be passers by. (Like my grandmother used to say, “Shick-a-mo-shy pass them on by!” I was not being an observer in this case, I was mad and frustrated that this person was hindering me from getting the job done and saving the Titanic.

I don’t like myself very much when that happens. I had to go home and forgive myself. I literally said, “Senée, I know you’re under a lot of stress to pull off the impossible and you have been operating in emergency, crisis mode. I know you don’t like how you acted, but I love and forgive you. I know you will do better next time and be the observer faster.”

I spent a whole chapter in The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart talking about forgiving yourself, but it has only been in the last few weeks that I’ve understood why it’s important and how to do it better. Not forgiving yourself binds you with guilt and weights on you. It can even cause you to operate in fear which is the worst thing in the world. Derrick Brose the Global Witness, said that self unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy backpack on your back and wanting to jump off a deep cliff. Instead of jumping, he suggests you take all that heavy unforgiveness, throw that backpack over the cliff and walk way divine, sovereign and free — I agree with him.

Some people feel so powerless in their own lives that they try to exert power over everyone around them to feel powerful. You see this all the time in the workplace with people who have demanding spouses. Is this right or a good excuse? Of course not! However, we have to be the observer and just pass them on by.

Any therapist will tell you that to have peace, you need to observe your thoughts and feelings and let them pass. The same is true for all the external things that happen around you. Don’t pick a side. Just say, “That’s interesting,” and pass them on by.

Billie Eilish says it best when she sings, “If you think I’m pretty, you should see me in a crown!” Don’t waste the pretty and don’t let anyone take your crown!

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!