It’s my birthday month, and this time of year I’m always reflecting over the past year and my choices. To say that 2020 has been a rough year would be a total understatement, but it’s also been a great year for me on many levels. I’ve grown so much in so many ways. I was finally healed and transformed enough to see things clearly and make decisions that I had been sitting on for years. You could say that the transformation process became evident in 2020 with clear 20/20 vision.
During the lockdown, people often asked me how I was doing sheltering in place all alone. I would always tell them that I was doing great having dance parties in my house alone, connecting with people I hadn’t talked with in years and using gratitude on a daily basis. It’s easy to be grateful for the good things that happen to us. We should be grateful in those moments, but it’s much more important (and essential for our overall growth) to employ gratitude when things aren’t that great. There were times this year that I literally had to force gratitude in disappointing situations, but it was worth it because it changed me for the better. It changed my perspective and my energy. It gave me hope and a positive outlook on life.
As I wrote about in The Princess Guide to Gratitude, this quote from Albert Schweitzer has taken on new meaning and truth to me, “The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life; giving thanks for everything.”
Yes, it’s proper and wonderful to be grateful to those who do or say nice things for and to you, but it’s much more Important to be grateful for those who have showed up in your life as tyrants (it isn’t easy to do in the moment but vitally important) because those people are your greatest teachers, as Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say. They are also the ones who will cause you to transform, if you allow it.
As I mentioned in The Princess Guide to Gratitude, in a 2003 study, researchers Watkins, Woodward, Stone and Kolts found that grateful people tend to share four characteristics:
- They do not feel deprived in life.
- They appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being.
- They appreciate simple pleasures (pleasurable things that are freely available to most everyone). When a person appreciates simple pleasures, they are likely to experience grateful feelings more often due to frequently being appreciative of commonly occurring experiences.
- Grateful people acknowledge the important role of experiencing and expressing gratitude.
As the seasons have changed recently from Summer to Fall, we can always expect seasons in life to change, as well. Even what appears to be negative changes can work out for our highest good, if we allow them to by focusing on gratitude and changing the things within us that we can change.
“These changes can be difficult, but they don’t have to be,” I wrote in The Princess Guide to Gratitude. “It’s all in our perception. We can choose how we view events in our lives. I believe three of the most important tools for dealing with change and new seasons are optimism, joy, and gratitude.”
In each moment, we have a choice of how we’re going to think and respond to events. Sometimes, our choice may be to have no response at all until we have more information and a clearer perspective of the situation. That’s perfectly fine, and the wisest choice of all. We have no control over others. However, we do have total control over the kingdom within ourselves. Staying on the throne and not allowing negative events and actions of those outside ourselves to control how we think and behave is a royal way to live life. Using gratitude — even for the bad stuff that happens — is a useful tool to help us in that process.
Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!
