When I was working as a Behavioral Clinician, I had a 4-year-old client who went through a very traumatic event having witnessed the death of a younger sibling. She was also in the foster care system and was having frequent meltdowns and boughs of sadness.
During one of our sessions, I asked her if she had a “happy song” ― a song that made her feel happy when she heard it. She began singing this terribly sad song with a smile on her face. It was so sad I almost started crying, then I realized it was the theme song from the last Twilight movie. I quickly redirected her, grabbed my phone and turned on Pharrell’s song Happy. She started singing and dancing all around the foster family’s living room. Her foster mother came in to see what was going on. When the song was over, I asked her if the next time she felt sad if she could start singing this song to help her feel happy again. She said yes, and her foster mother chimed in that she could play it for her on her phone.
This wasn’t a technique I learned. In fact, I was told her previous clinician was telling her to pretend she was squeezing an orange ―a stress-relieving technique that was endorsed by the literature we used at the agency I was working for ― which was not working, according to her foster mother. (That wouldn’t work on me either, especially if I were 4!)
It’s been my experience that when I’m stressed or feeling low, music always helps me. Sometimes, I just need a dance party break! The combination of upbeat music and moving my body seems to change my brain (and mood). In addition to dancing, I often have to sing myself happy.
I remember an episode of Ally McBeal where her therapist told her she needed to come up with a theme song that she could hear in her head to make her feel more confident. Ally struggled the entire episode to find one, but she did in the end. Being a singer since I was 2 (I started singing in public when I was 2, but I was told by family members that I was trying to sing before I could talk), I know that music has a way of not only changing the atmosphere, but changing our moods and minds. I was once told by someone not to gripe at him but to sing to him instead. I didn’t grasp the importance of that statement until much later, but I see the validity in that approach now.
I’ve been working on a new book about controlling your own mind, and I have been wondering if there is any scientific evidence to prove out this theory of mine.
As I wrote about in The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart, intention is key when making any change or predicting future behavior. Two studies published in 2012 in The Journal of Positive Psychology support my findings. “These studies demonstrate that listening to positive music may be an effective way to improve happiness, particularly when it is combined with an intention to become happier,” the researcher concluded.
Barry Goldstein echoes my theory in his column published in Conscious Lifestyles, “Listen to a piece of music that brings you to a highly elevated and inspired emotional state … Moving to this music can have a profound effect on your mood as it creates the potential for the production of beneficial hormones, neurotransmitters, and other molecules in your body.”
Sad songs say so much
The opposite can also take place. Have you ever felt so low and just wanted to have a big huge pity party in your depression by listening to music that made you sad? Listening to sad music can be dangerous to your mental health, but research shows that it could also help you get over a broken heart.
Interestingly, Healthline.com reported that listening to sad music can actually help in getting over heartbreak from an ended relationship. “An earlier study, published in the Journal of Consumer Research, found that people tend to prefer sad music when they are experiencing a deep interpersonal loss, like the end of a relationship. The authors of that study suggested that sad music provides a substitute for the lost relationship. They compared it to the preference most people have for an empathetic friend — someone who truly understands what you’re going through.”
I guess Elton John was right when he sang, “Sad songs say so much.” When I recorded the album for my book, I chose songs that went along with what I wrote about, but honestly, a couple of them made me cry even in the recording studio as I was singing them. The lyrics hit close to home, and I obviously wasn’t over it at the time. That just told me I had more work to do, which I did.
Take action
So, what can you do to allow music to change your mood? In 2013, USA Today published a list of 20 scientifically-proven benefits of music. Some of those included the following cation steps:
- Ease pain. (Listening to) “music can meaningfully reduce the perceived intensity of pain …”
- Increase workout endurance. “When we’re focusing on a favorite album, we may not notice that we just ran an extra mile.”
- Reduce stress. “Research has found that listening to music can relieve stress by triggering biochemical stress reducers.”
- Relieve symptoms of depression. “Research suggests the kind of music matters: Classical and meditative sounds seem to be particularly uplifting, whereas heavy metal and techno can actually make depressive symptoms worse.”
- Elevate mood. “A 2013 study found that music helped put people in a better mood and get in touch with their feelings.”
- Help people perform better in high-pressure situations. “One study found that basketball players prone to performing poorly under pressure during games were significantly better during high-pressure free-throw shooting if they first listened to catchy, upbeat music and lyrics.”
- Elevate mood while driving. The reporter suggests listening to your favorite songs the next time you find yourself in a traffic jam to help keep your mood in check. I also have a dance party in the car when I’m really in need of an attitude change and safely stopped at a red light.
Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.
