Mental health – Page 10 – The Princess Guide

Posted on November 16, 2018November 2, 2018 by seneeseale

Where’s your head at?

I spent an entire chapter in “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” talking about controlling your own mind, and I was only able to scratch the surface. There’s so much more research and updates that have surfaced during and after releasing the book, that I’m writing an entire book on this one topic.

Your brain is your most precious possession — It controls all the functions of your body without you having to think about them or focus on them at all. It also helps you create brilliant ideas and execute them. I’ve been on this bandwagon for many years, and first wrote about it in 2014. Here’s that Flashback Friday post …

What are you feeding your mind? Are you giving it a steady diet of TV programs depicting sex and violence? Are you listening to songs full of cursing and obscene lyrics?

Just like your body is a product of what you eat, so is your mind. Whatever you think about and meditate on is what will appear in your life.

“The only way to change your life is to change your mindset,” said Bishop T.D. Jakes in one of his Potter’s Touch interviews. “Without it, let’s examine the realities. If you change your surroundings and you get in with the right crowd and you wear the right clothes and you get the right job and you have the right position but you still have the same old perspective, eventually you will alienate every good thing God put around you.”

Some substance users and mentality ill people I’ve known expect others to do everything for them from paying their bills to making them happy, but happiness and peace of mind are inside jobs.

“You must be new, and your perspective must be new. And you must be willing to be fresh if you’re going to change your life because people can’t change your life for you,” Bishop Jakes said. “Parents can say amen to that. How many parents do we know who really want to change the lives of their children? You cannot make the child do what you say. That newness must begin in the individual and then spread to the environment and situation around you.”

I was seeing a therapist before and during my engagement, and he kept suggesting I try mindfulness training. Living in the moment hasn’t been a safe place for me during much of my life, so I dreamed of how I wanted my life to be.

“I encourage you to begin a practice of being more mindful,” said Dr. Wayne Dyer in his 2014 PBS special. “This is, in fact, what I did to end my lifetime habit of being forgetful, particularly when it came to where I placed my car keys.

“These days when I swim, I experience my arms moving, my legs kicking, my shoulders stretching, the feel and taste of the salt water, my fingers cupped and moving the water, my breathing, my heart rate . . . all of it. Practicing mindfulness has taught me how to be in the moment and find myself as well as my keys,” he said.

Dr. Dyer often said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It’s easy to worry and look at things from a negative perspective in the world we live in today. The more aware of your thoughts you are, the better chance you have of changing them.

“You can change your life by changing your perspective,” Bishop Jakes said. “The only difference between you and the person you admire is the perspective they have on life.”

What do you do to generate and maintain positive thoughts, especially during times of trouble?

You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. If you want to know more how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

Posted on November 10, 2018February 15, 2020 by seneeseale

Is it the ‘Baby Blues’ or full blown Postpartum Psychosis?

It’s a day late this week, but this Flashback Friday post from 2014 was inspired by a comment on my post this week …

I’ve had several friends have babies in the past year, and I’ve often thought of their emotional states after the little miracles arrive. One of my single girlfriends from college recently adopted a newborn. My friend is a very successful professional who seems to have it all going for her. After hearing of her new baby I couldn’t help but think of how she didn’t have to go through the changes in her body — not only the weight gain and stretch marks but also the hormone shifts and postpartum depression.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates that 10- to 15 percent of women who have given birth experience Postpartum Depression (PPD) within the first year of giving birth.

“PPD has important consequences for the well-being of mothers and their children,” writes the CDC on its website. “For example, in a 2006 study, mothers who reported depressive symptoms were less likely to engage in practices to promote child development, such as playing with their infant. PPD might also be associated with discontinuation of breastfeeding.”

According to the CDC, significant risk factors for Postpartum Depressive Symptoms (PDS) include:

Using tobacco during the last 3 months of pregnancy,
Physical abuse before or during pregnancy,
Partner-related stress during pregnancy,
Traumatic stress during pregnancy,
Financial stress during pregnancy,
Delivering a low birth weight infant,
Experiencing emotional stress during pregnancy, and
NICU admission.

“The associations are not unexpected, given that these risk factors all can be considered either actual stressors or indicators of stress during pregnancy,” writes the CDC on its website. “Further research is needed to examine the relationship between stressors during pregnancy and PDS.”

While feeling down is perfectly normal considering the hormone changes that take place, extreme cases of Postpartum Psychosis can be deadly.

I was working as a reporter for The Galveston County Daily News when the Andrea Yates retrial verdict was brought down in 2006. For those who don’t remember, Andrea Yates was a mother of several young children in a Houston suburb who said she heard God tell her to drown all of them in her bathtub so they would be innocent enough to make it to heaven. Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity and was committed to a state mental hospital to be held until she is no longer deemed a threat. (If she had been convicted of murder, she would have been sentenced to life in prison.)

For the story, I interviewed William Winslade, medical ethics and law professor at the University of Texas Medical Branch and author of the book Insanity Plea. He thought the plea has been abused and should be taken off the table in most cases, but not in the Yates case. He said he believed the insanity plea was appropriate “given how crazy she was at that time.”

The Yates case is an extreme example of Postpartum Psychosis (where the person is hearing voices and seeing things that are not physically there). It isn’t the norm but should be used as a reminder of how important it is to seek help at the first sign of something being “off.”

“The continuum of depressive disorders after delivery ranges from ‘baby blues’ to PPD,” the CDC writes on its website. “Although ‘baby blues’ is more prevalent, the symptoms of this disorder, which occur within the first few weeks after delivery, are less severe and do not require treatment. PPD can occur up to a year after delivery, is more severe, and requires treatment by a physician.”

If you’re a new mom and are experiencing any symptoms, know that it’s perfectly normal to feel down. However, it’s also important to get help from a mental health professional if symptoms continue. Many options ranging from drug therapy to talk therapy are available to help you.

Posted on November 7, 2018November 6, 2018 by seneeseale

You are what you eat? No … You are what you SPEAK!

We speak our futures into existence. The Bible tells us that. The New Age movement tells us that. Other religions tell us that. So, if this is true, why are we should-ing all over ourselves, or worse yet, speaking negative people, things and circumstances into our lives?

We must realize that our words are powerful and can create positive or negative realities for us. When we say anything after “I AM,” we’re almost guaranteed to get it!

A couple of months ago, I had a vision of my best friend and I making a list, but instead of creating a vision board or a positive affirmation list, it was an I AM list. Mine would look something like this:

• I AM loveable.

• I AM an attractor of unconditional love.

• I AM crowned with favor.

• I AM overtaken by success and prosperity.

• I AM prosperous in everything I do.

• I AM successful in my career, and I AM paid well for my efforts.

• I AM an attractor of quality people who value me, show me unconditional love and help me achieve my goals.

• I AM a person of quality and high integrity.

• I AM capable of having quality relationships, and I AM an attractor of those who are the same.

• I AM a high energy person and resonate in high energy fields.

• I AM light and love.

Yes, we’re all human and can allow ourselves to have our buttons pushed from time to time. However, once we grasp how powerful our words are, we can no longer let ourselves speak negative things into our lives. We have to give ourselves a Take Two.

A few weeks ago, I started doing something different. Every morning when I’m drinking coffee and waking up, I place my invisible crown on my head and say out loud, “I AM crowned with favor. I have favor with everyone I come into contact with today!” It works!

Just the other day, I was taking some boxes to my car, and one was really heavy. I whispered, “Father, please help me get this box to my car.” I fumbled with it for about 30 seconds, then just when I was about to drop it, a guy showed up in the parking lot (seemingly our of nowhere) and asked if I needed help … I thought the Father was just going to give me the strength to carry the box, but instead he sent someone to do the heavy lifting for me less than a minute after I asked!

Your words are powerful! Use them as your superpower to create a beautiful, peaceful life!

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

Posted on October 31, 2018October 31, 2018 by seneeseale

Are there zombies among us?

I was on my way to work recently and stopped second in line at a red light in a busy intersection. I was listening to the Breakfast Beat Mix on First Wave when I felt a croooooosh from behind …. A pickup truck had hit and defiled my Princess Mobile!

I got out of the car, and the 20-something guy inside didn’t bother to ask if I was alright. He didn’t say he was sorry. He didn’t even get out of the car. He appeared to be high on pot, and when I pointed out what he did, his only response was, “My bad.”

He showed no remorse. No sense of responsibility. No human kindness … NOTHING!

He had no insurance or driver’s license. He seemed to have no life in him. He was like a zombie.

In the truther community, it is said that there are people without souls walking among us like zombies. While I could believe that in theory, it wasn’t until this experience that I started to believe it might be fact.

My motto in raising children and in life has always been, “You mess up, you clean up!”

I’ve written about this in The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart … When you make a mistake, it’s your responsibility to make things right. You have to do whatever you can to fix the issue — be that in love or life. Self medicating, being selfish and zoning out are not options. Taking positive action is the only way.

Don’t be a zombie, and don’t enable them either!

Posted on October 24, 2018 by seneeseale

Don’t let anyone take your crown

I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll say it again: I’m a work in progress. I’m better than I used to be, but I’m still not where I want to be. I want my initial reaction to anything to be that of love and peace, but sometimes it just isn’t. Sometimes, I still let people take my crown, or at least tilt it a little.

I’ve been in crisis, “Get ‘er done” mode at the magazine where I work salvaging a very late issue. I’ve been Princess Senée reporting for duty on the sinking Titanic. I’m doing everything in my power to save this ship. (I’m going to make it happen, even though there may be some parts dangling, the ship will not sink on my watch!) I’ve had the help of a couple of coworkers — to whom I’m eternally grateful for their help and cooperation. However, there are others who have just thrown obstacles in my way. I feels like I’m on the Titanic running around with my hair on fire trying to keep the ship from going under, and they’re in the life boat with their life jackets on screaming at me that I’m not doing it right.

One person heard me asking for a specific name I couldn’t find online for a story I was editing. This person inserted themselves into the conversation telling me to go online (which I had already done). It was so bad I couldn’t even look at this person because, at the very least, they would have seen me rolling my eyes to the back of my head and biting my tongue to keep from saying what I was really feeling — my princess crown was definitely on tilt, and I hated it!

Don't let anyone take your crown You see, we’re royalty. Our natural state resonates in the high energy of love, integrity and peace. When we allow others externally to bring our energy low to that of anger or frustration, we’ve handed them our crowns and are now allowing them to control our emotions. Christ told us that we are to be passers by. (Like my grandmother used to say, “Shick-a-mo-shy pass them on by!” I was not being an observer in this case, I was mad and frustrated that this person was hindering me from getting the job done and saving the Titanic.

I don’t like myself very much when that happens. I had to go home and forgive myself. I literally said, “Senée, I know you’re under a lot of stress to pull off the impossible and you have been operating in emergency, crisis mode. I know you don’t like how you acted, but I love and forgive you. I know you will do better next time and be the observer faster.”

I spent a whole chapter in The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart talking about forgiving yourself, but it has only been in the last few weeks that I’ve understood why it’s important and how to do it better. Not forgiving yourself binds you with guilt and weights on you. It can even cause you to operate in fear which is the worst thing in the world. Derrick Brose the Global Witness, said that self unforgivness is like carrying a heavy backpack on your back and wanting to jump off a deep cliff. Instead of jumping, he suggests you take all that heavy unforgivness, throw that backpack over the cliff and walk way divine, sovereign and free — I agree with him.

Some people feel so powerless in their own lives that they try to exert power over everyone around them to feel powerful. You see this all the time in the workplace with people who have demanding spouses. Is this right or a good excuse? Of course not! However, we have to be the observer and just pass them on by.

Any therapist will tell you that to have peace, you need to observe your thoughts and feelings and let them pass. The same is true for all the external things that happen around you. Don’t pick a side. Just say, “That’s interesting,” and pass them on by.

Billie Eilish says it best when she sings, “If you think I’m pretty, you should see me in a crown!” Don’t waste the pretty and don’t let anyone take your crown!

Posted on October 19, 2018October 15, 2018 by seneeseale

Being in balance

Today would have been my Pa-Paw’s 104th birthday. I was born the day after his birthday, and we always celebrated our birthdays together … I can’t tell you how much I loved that and deeply miss it! This blog post from 2014 is in honor of him. He was a Libra too and valued balance as much as I do …

During Spring Break this year, I wanted to work on myself, but it occurred to me in the middle of the week that part of my problem might be that I could be out of balance ― or out of whack, as my Pa-Paw used to say.

The very next day I was in my favorite used bookstore looking for books by my favorite self-help author, when the first book my hand touched was titled, Being in Balance. (Yes, God, I’m listening!)

being in balance Balance is a holistic practice. It’s both physical and psychological. This is especially true when talking about how you treat your body.

“The concept of balance starts with internal balance of your body from a metabolic and hormonal level, extending to a balance of your body fat levels and muscle, to a balance of your upper body and lower body proportions,” said John Barban, fitness expert.

While it takes action to do things to bring balance to your body and life, it all starts with how you’re thinking and talking internally to yourself.

Have you ever noticed how you actually speak to yourself in your head? If your self-talk is more negative than positive, you CAN change it starting right now by noticing what you’re thinking, then replacing those negative thoughts. Dr. Daniel Amen calls them ANTS — Automatic Negative ThoughtS.

In his book, Being in Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires Dr. Wayne Dyer offers these thoughts for balancing your dreams with your daily routines:

Balance your dreams with your habits. You name it, and if you can dream it, you can achieve it. But only if you align your inner creative energy ― your thoughts ― so that they match up perfectly with your dreams.

Balance your desire to enjoy life with your need to achieve. Become conscious of your desire to be at peace, and then match your present-moment thoughts to that desire.

Balance how you see yourself with what you project to the world. Become aware of all your behaviors and feelings. Then attempt to determine if they match your vision of yourself, and if that self-image is what others see.

Balance your desire for what you want with your addictive behavior. Overcoming the imbalance with addictive thinking begins and ends with your awareness that you, with the help of your Source, have everything you need right now to end your imbalance.

Balance your desire to have your body feel great with what you feed it and how you exercise it. Truly, you are not what you eat or how much you exercise, but rather what you believe about the you that you’re presently birthing in your thoughts.

Balance your desire for prosperity with your habits of scarcity. Right now, in this moment, you can initiate the practice of allowing only prosperous thoughts to live in your consciousness. Replace “I don’t even know how to think like this” with “I’m abundant, I attract prosperity, I am in balance with this desire, and I will not think in any other way.”

Balance your desire to live in a peaceful world with messages of evil continually bombarding you. I’m obliged to stay in a consciousness of compassion and love―not only to maintain my own balance, but to help ensure the continual survival of our species. There can be no greater calling.

Balance your desire for love with feelings of not having enough love. Not only is love what is left over when falling in love fades away, but love defines the Source from which we came. You must vow from this moment forward, to see yourself exclusively in loving terms, and invite love to accompany you 24/7.

Balance your spiritual life with your material life. Being more balanced spiritually and physically gives me the opportunity to be in a continual state of gratitude and awe … There’s a significant change in your life when you correct the imbalance between your physical and spiritual being.

What have you found beneficial when keeping yourself in balance?

Posted on October 17, 2018October 16, 2018 by seneeseale

Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?

It’s my birthday week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about love a lot lately — not the kind of external love we automatically think about, although that’s been on my mind too — I’m talking about the internal love no one can take away from you.

In our modern-day culture, we tend to think that the only love that counts is the external love from another person typically in a romantic setting. There’s an old song with the lyrics, “You’re nobody until somebody loves you.” I must disagree with this statement. We come from pure love. We are loved greatly by the Father and Creator of All. We have ancestors and spiritual relatives who love us and protect us even though we never see or encounter them in this realm of existence.

I spent an entire chapter of The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart talking about loving yourself, but it hasn’t been until recent weeks that I’m starting to realize what that really looks like.

The last line of John Mayer’s song New Light poses the question, “What do I do with all this love flowing through my veins for you?” I dare say, once again, that you give all that love back to yourself until you have someone in your life to give that love to who will love you back … That last part is very important because if you aren’t receiving love back from a person, you’re in an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship.

Lately, I’ve been listening daily to The Sundays song Love. The lyrics are profound and have really redirected my thinking about self-love.

So, killing me with love, love, love just love yourself

like no one else.

Love, it’s enough.

So, they can say what they like, but they still can’t take

Your love, your love, your love just love yourself like nobody else.

Time’s so scarce where I come from

Let them say what they like, but they still can’t take your love.

When we finally realize who we are, that we ARE love and are deeply loved, no one can take that away from us. Will there be times when we feel lonely and unloved? Of course! I can’t tell you how many birthdays (including the last three and probably this upcoming one) and holidays I’ve spent totally alone. I’ve learned a very valuable lesson, though … When I’m alone on special days, I can spend them doing anything I want to do! I don’t have anyone telling me I’m not worthy of celebrating or that I want too much. I can spend as much or as little money on myself and feel very good about it because I don’t have anyone dictating to me my worth!

love yourself like no one else So, how do you show love to yourself? You do exactly what I explain in the book … You talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, handsome, talented, honorable, worthy and lovable. I’ve never had a problem looking at myself naked in the mirror — even when I weighed my largest — but It’s taken me decades to finally look in that mirror and see a divine, pretty princess who is beautiful on the inside and outside. I actually see her now, and I’m so grateful that I got to spend this existence in a beautiful, healthy body. Am I perfect? I’m still breathing, so the answer is NO. However, I’m learning to appreciate all that I am and all that I have while not dwelling on all those who have walked away from me or those who terrorized me while they were in my life. I see the good in the now, and the present moment really is the gift!

I used to think that the only way a gift mattered was if it was given by someone I loved. I now realize that giving gifts to myself in love is just as important … And it comes with no strings or expectations attached.

If you long for someone to give you your favorite flowers, go buy some for yourself or plant them in a pot so that you can have them near you all year long. If you dream of dancing with someone, enroll in dancing classes at a local studio and let them pair you up with someone while you’re waiting on the right person to show up in your life. If you love sports and want a partner to watch games with you, join a Meetup group for sports fans, attend college alumni watching parties or go to a local sports bar and make friends. If you love live music, go see a show by yourself — It hasn’t happened very often, but I have seriously had some of my best times when I ended up going out all by myself! Don’t sit around waiting and wishing for things to change … Do things now that make you happy and show positive love for yourself!

Recently, I was not feeling well, and I was really wishing my Granny were still alive so that I could curl up in her lap and let her rock me in her rocking chair. I found myself sitting in my own rocking chair. I wrapped my arms around myself, began rocking and I said what I would tell any sick little child I was rocking, “I know you feel really bad right now, but you’re going to be alright. Your body is magnificent and will repair and heal itself. You just need to close your eyes, fall asleep and let your body do its work.” That’s exactly what I needed in that moment, and it was fascinating and wonderful that I was able to give myself what I was longing to receive from someone externally.

In case you’re wondering if what I’m explaining is being “full of yourself” or Narcissistic, the answer is NO. I was talking about this subject with a therapist friend of mine, and she seemed to agree with my distinction between healthy self-love and someone who is ego-driven or who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I believe that people with highly inflated egos and NPD exude negative energy, while people with positive self-love genuinely love themselves and exude that positive love to everyone around them.

When you learn to treat yourself with true love and respect, you won’t allow others to mistreat you … That’s a promise from a princess! 🙂

Posted on October 15, 2018October 15, 2018 by seneeseale

Life’s a beach … Get out of your comfort zone and play in the sand

It’s my birthday week, and you’re getting the gifts with an extra blog post this week and next. Usually in Dallas, this is the week we finally lose the burn-your-face-off heat and get comfortable Fall weather. Not so this year … We got full blown Winter today, and I’m thinking about my end-of-Summer trip to the beach.

I hate flying! Anytime someone straps me to a chair and tells me not to move for hours … It’s just cruel and unusual punishment, in my opinion. I probably wouldn’t mind flying if I could do it in a private jet, but I haven’t gotten to experience that yet to know for sure.

So, I only fly when it’s very important to me or absolutely necessary — if I can get there by car or train, those are my first choices. This Summer, I celebrated it’s ending by visiting my best friend who lives at the beach in Los Angeles … Meaning I had only enough time to fly.

I’m not going to lie … I was very anxious about making this trip. I really wanted to see my best friend and go to the beach. When I was growing up, I always wished I were Gidget or Didi or some other Hollywood character who spent every day at the beach. However, I was having physical signs of anxiety two days before the trip.

It’s hard for me to read signs unless I’m close to them because of my vision, and traveling alone in an airport always seems to require that. People tend to get annoyed with me when I’m just doing the best I can.

This was the first time I had been inside an airport in more than five years when I flew from Dallas to Houston and back in the same day for business. It never fails that I always get pulled out for special security checks. On this beach trip, I was wearing a dress. So, I opted for the naked picture booth instead of the pat down, but they pulled me aside anyway to pat me down.

It was worth the trouble because I was seated on the plane in between two cute guys, both vying for my attention during the flight.

Life's a beach, go play in the sand I spent a day alone at the beach which was so relaxing and rejuvenating for me — the sound of the waves and the seagulls along with the laughter of the children playing near me was just what I needed psychologically … I needed that weekend with my best friend too!

Unfortunately I tried to be Gidget and fit an entire Summer of beach-going into one day and came home looking like burnt Malibu Barbie!

So, while the trip may not have been perfect, it gave me exactly what I needed. I want to encourage you to not allow negative moments to stop you from taking care of yourself and doing positive things for yourself.

You can catch first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart” by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

Posted on April 27, 2018June 14, 2018 by seneeseale

Virtue and coming back to life

I’ve been working on writing the second edition of The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about royalty. This #FlashbackFriday post explains how our character is what makes us righteous (and in my opinion, royal) …

I was walking down an aisle in a store the other day, and next to the As Seen on TV products jumped out the words on a box BACK TO LIFE … My first thought was, “I wish I could slather on a product to bring ME back to life!”

Virtue and coming back to life

We all go through seasons in life where our faith is tried, but how we react to the negative things happening to us determines who we really are. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about character and virtue.

Several years ago when I was working as an editor of a weakly publication for “The Dallas Morning News,” I was going through a really difficult time in my personal life. The only guy on our team walked up as I was talking about my situation with another girl on our team. He said something to me that has never left me. He had only been working with me for a couple of months but said I was the most virtuous person he’s ever known.

Michael Tyrrell, musician and creator of the Wholetones music project, put it like this in a recent e-mail, “Virtue is the cornerstone of character. It is the manifestation of moral principles or ethics that define one’s statue. In other words,it’s the ‘you’ in you! It’s who you are when nobody’s around to impress.”

My grandfather always told us, “A man is only as good as his word.” I took that to heart and always try not to commit to something unless I know I can do it and keep my promises. I’ve found out in my lifetime that very few people keep their promises — even really important ones like wedding vows or governmental oaths.

One of my friends in graduate school calls me her ”Little Southern Belle.” One night during a break in class as the professor was walking back in the room, my friend was telling everyone out loud, “Senée is the epitome of a Southern Belle. She can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the journey!” To that, our professor turned around and shook her head. (She wasn’t from Texas and had told us she didn’t understand our hospitality or etiquette.)

I have never viewed myself as a Southern Belle. I just know deep down inside me that I am called to live to a higher standard in which I keep my promises, tell the truth at all costs and do my best to do things in love.

Being a follower of Christ sets this standard for me, but I’m amazed at how many people who say they are Christians live just like the rest of the world doing things to please themselves. It shouldn’t be surprising to see the conduct of people today because it was written about hundreds of years ago, and we were told exactly what to do.

“BUT UNDERSTAND this, that in the last days will come (set in) perilous times of great stress and trouble [hard to deal with and hard to bear]. For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive (blasphemous, scoffing), disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane. [They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good. [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God. For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them],” 2 Timothy 3:1-5 AMP

One reason I choose to live to a higher standard is because of the great promise associated with it. “Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!],” Hebrews 13:5 AMP.

In his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve Harvey said men like standards, so get some. So how can we start to raise our standards? Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love one another. The Apostle Paul broke it down even further in Philippians 2:3-4 GNT:

Don’t do anything from selfish ambition or from a cheap desire to boast;
Be humble toward one another;
Always considering others better than yourselves;
And look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own.

How do you live life to a higher standard, or how do you plan to raise your standards?

Posted on April 18, 2018April 17, 2018 by seneeseale

You are not the sun & the solar system does not revolve around you

There was a recent story in the news about a couple of black men who went to a Philadelphia Starbucks and refused to buy anything or leave when asked by store employees. When the police arrived, they refused to leave then too and were arrested. Starbucks corporate office declined to press charges, and they were released. This entitlement attitude is becoming an epidemic and has to stop.

I can’t get into my car – in the city or country side – without someone riding my back bumper, passing me illegally on two-lane highways or cutting me off nearly hitting my car when there is plenty of room for them to drive behind me. (And no, I don’t drive like an old lady. I have a car that wants to drive over 100 miles per hour that I have to hold back … I’ll admit that I go the speed limit and sometimes five miles over.) There is no excuse for such reckless, self-absorbed behavior.

If you’re running late, that’s your own fault for not getting up earlier and leaving at an appropriate time. You don’t deserve to drive in front of anyone else. You don’t deserve to use a business wifi for free without buying something either. Those perks are there for paying customers.

There were several times when I was in undergrad and graduate school when I moved apartments or had people working on my complex electricity, and I had to go to McDonald’s or Starbucks and use their internet service. I always bought something and told the employees and managers that I needed to camp out for a little while and use their internet and/or electricity. More than once, I had the manager be very gracious toward me and invite me back any time I wanted.

You are not the sun & the solar system doesn't revolve around you

For those of you participating such bad behavior, I’m really sorry to have to break this news to many of you, but you are not the sun. You do not provide sustaining light, vitamin D and plasma/gravity to keep the planets in orbit around you and sustain life on planet earth.

As I wrote about in my book The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart (and I’m currently writing about in a new book on the topic of being royal), Narcissism has become an epidemic in our society. I blame it on Baby Boomers and Helicopter Parents. Instead of teaching the younger generations how to be humble, gracious, self-reliant and of service to others, you have taught them through behavior modeling and enabling that they are entitled to anything they want from people – and it’s wrong!

The psychological diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is derived from this story. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), “The essential features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.

“Individuals with this disorder have a grandiose sense of self-importance (Criterion 1). They routinely overestimate their abilities and inflate their accomplishments, often appearing boastful and pretentious. They may bitterly assume the same value to their efforts and may be surprised when the praise they expect and feel they deserve is not forthcoming … Individuals with (NPD) are often preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (Criterion 2) … Individuals with (NPD) believe that they are superior, special, or unique, and expect others to recognize them as such (Criterion 3) … Individuals with this disorder generally require excessive admiration (Criterion 4) … A sense of entitlement is evident in these individuals’ unreasonable expectation of especially favorable treatment (Criterion 5) … This sense of entitlement, combined with a lack of sensitivity to the wants and needs of others, may result in the conscious or unwriting exploitation of others (Criterion 6) … Individuals with (NPD) generally have a lack of empathy and have difficulty recognizing the desires, subjective experiences, and feelings of others (Criterion 7) … These individuals are often envious of others or believe that others are envious of them (Criterion 8).”

Five or more of these features will qualify someone for the disorder. “Of those diagnosed with (NPD), 50-75% are male,” according to the DSM-5. The manual also stated that up to 6.2% of the population has been diagnosed with the disorder.

I am speaking the TRUTH to you in LOVE.

We have to get back to basics, y’all. Jesus said in Matthew 7:12, “Do for others what you want them to do for you; this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of the teachings of the prophets.” President John F. Kennedy said, “So my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together what we can do for the freedom of man.”

I’m seeing people behaving badly almost on a daily basis. They are not treating others the way they want to be treated. They are acting like their wants and needs are above all others and more important. This is not the proper way to act. The royal, Kingdom of Heaven way to treat others is to follow the instructions of Jesus.

Your parents, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, children, acquaintances, etc. may tell you that you are the best thing since sliced bread. I sincerely hope that you are loved unconditionally by at least one person in your life – I truly want that for you more than anything – but these people are doing you a disservice if they are enabling your bad behavior. A society cannot be sustained and prosper when it is full of selfish, self-absorbed, entitled people.

It isn’t healthy self-esteem to treat others badly. That actually proves that you have low self-esteem because you don’t respect yourself enough to treat others the way you want them to treat you. Gretchen Ruben puts it quite well in the art for this blog post. Humans don’t respect people who constantly hurt and demean others – especially if they have experienced it for themselves from that person or have seen that behavior in action from that person.

Today is a great day to change! It’s a new opportunity to truly show love and compassion for everyone you come into contact with, and I deeply hope you decide to be the better, royal person you were created to be!

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you want to know how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, you can get a free PDF sample chapter of “The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart”by filling out the form in the sidebar on this page.

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