Self-esteem – Page 2 – The Princess Guide

Posted on July 15, 2020July 10, 2020 by seneeseale

The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First: Coming back to life

This is an excerpt from The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First now available at Amazon.com, ThePrincessGuide.com and online booksellers. Everyone who purchases the book can be entered into a drawing to get a free 30-minute coaching/counseling session with me. Drawings will take place on July 12 & 26, 2020. To enter, simply take a photo of yourself with the cover of the paperback or eBook, post to social media and tag me (Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn: @SeneeSeale; Facebook: @ThePrincessGuide), or email a copy of your receipt to PrincessGuide@BecomingPublishing.com.

I was walking down an aisle in a store in 2016, and next to the As Seen On TV products jumped out the words on a box Back To Life … My first thought was, “I wish I could slather on a product to bring me back to life!”

We all go through seasons in life where our faith is tried, but how we react to the negative things that happen to us defines who we really are. At that time, I had been thinking a lot about character and virtue. Several years ago when I was working as an editor of a weekly publication for The Dallas Morning News, I was going through a really difficult time in my personal life. The only guy on our team walked up as I was talking about my situation with another girl on our team. He said something to me that has never left me. He had only been working with me for a couple of months, but he said I was the most virtuous person he’s ever known. I was flattered he had this opinion of me, but I really wasn’t sure what he meant.

Michael Tyrrell, musician and creator of the Wholetones music project, put it like this in an email, “Virtue is the cornerstone of character. It is the manifestation of moral principles or ethics that define one’s statue. In other words, it’s the ‘you’ in you! It’s who you are when nobody’s around to impress.”

My grandfather always told us, “A man is only as good as his word.” I took that to heart and always try not to commit to something unless I know I can do it and keep my promises. I’ve found out in my lifetime that very few people keep their promises—even really important ones like wedding vows or governmental oaths.

One of my friends in graduate school called me her “Little Southern Belle.” One night during a break in class as the professor was walking back in the room, my friend was telling everyone out loud, “Senée is the epitome of a Southern Belle. She can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the journey!” To that, our professor turned around and shook her head. (She wasn’t from Texas and had told us she didn’t understand our hospitality or etiquette.) I have never viewed myself as a Southern Belle—a princess, yes, but not really a Southern Belle. I have just always known deep down inside me that I am called to live to a higher, royal standard in which I keep my promises, tell the truth at all costs, and do my best to do things in love …

It’s amazing to me, but I actually felt myself coming back to life four years after being in that store wishing something could bring me back to life. The amazing part was that if happened during the COVID-19 lockdown while I was Sheltering In Place all alone. The interactions I had with people online and later meeting some of them in person made me realize that I had been brought back to life and was fully enjoying and experiencing life in all its happiness and disappointments. I credit practicing gratitude for much of this. I was able to hold on to the positive moments, be truly, deeply grateful for them, and let the rest go. Had I not been practicing loving myself first, establishing what I wanted for my life, and setting and enforcing my boundaries, I don’t think I would have experienced this reawakening or coming back to life. You can have the same experience—I’m confident of that. If I can do it, so can you. All it takes is doing the internal work I outline within these pages.

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

Posted on July 8, 2020July 1, 2020 by seneeseale

The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First: Self-love is the key

… I’ll admit it—I’ve struggled with loving myself for the majority of my life. I watched Hallmark and Hollywood movies that told me the only way to find true love and happiness was if someone outside myself loved and approved of me. I believed it. I thought I had to be pleasing and perfect to receive unconditional love. However, no matter what I did or how correctly I performed, I never experienced that love (for very long, at least). I now know—after more than four decades on this planet—that this is false! True, lasting, real love comes, first and foremost, from within.

Loving yourself is—in my personal and professional opinion—the most important key to happiness in life and relationships. I know what it’s like to have people tell you through their words and actions that you have no worth and are not lovable. I also know what it’s like to break out of that programming and no longer allow others to control your thinking and life.

If you don’t know me or haven’t read any of my work, I’m a Qualified Mental Health Professional and print journalist. I worked as a research assistant in the Couples Daily Lives Laboratory at The University of Texas at Dallas studying relationship conflict and reconciliation while I was earning my Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology. I love data, but I also like finding facts from many different sources. I’m going to present scientific research, expert commentary, Biblical scripture, and my own experiences in this book. Just keep an open mind, and if you don’t agree, then take what resonates with you, use it to improve yourself, and discard the rest.

Let me say this upfront: There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. I believe we were created to love and to be loved. The problem occurs when we give that power of love to another person outside of ourselves—when the love from another person is more important to us than how we feel about and love ourselves. If given to the wrong people, they can and will use it to control, dominate, and hurt us. I’ve seen it time and time again and experienced it personally.

The answer to this problem is to love yourself first. That way, no one can take love away from you when the main source of it comes from within yourself. A few months after publishing The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart where I devoted a chapter to this topic, I read Christian Mickelsen’s book Abundance Unleashed where he seems to share my opinion.

“The more attachments you have to being loved, the more neediness, the more you’re going to be searching for that love out in the world, and it’s always going to be elusive,” he wrote.

I’m not proud to say that I see myself in those words. When I look back over my life, I have realized that I was like a needy puppy begging at the feet of men and others outside of myself for love. I can now see that I went from a place of empowerment and loving myself first to a place of neediness where I could do nothing to please or get the love I deeply desired from another person. When we’re operating in a place of desperation, we are operating in lack and disempowerment—It isn’t a good look on anyone and typically repels people away from us instead of attracting them to us …

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

Posted on July 1, 2020July 1, 2020 by seneeseale

The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First: Let freedom ring

This is an excerpt from The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First now available at Amazon.com, ThePrincessGuide.com and online booksellers. Everyone who purchases the book can be entered into a drawing to get a free 30-minute coaching/counseling session with me. Drawings will take place on July 12 & 26, 2020. To enter, simply take a photo of yourself with the cover of the paperback or eBook, post to social media and tag me (Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn: @SeneeSeale; Facebook: @ThePrincessGuide), or email a copy of your receipt to PrincessGuide@BecomingPublishing.com.

Independence Day was approaching in 2016, and I was thinking a lot about the concept of freedom. In America, we live in a free society, but so many people aren’t free. They may be enslaved by loved ones who are practicing domestic violence or substance use, or they may be in emotionally toxic work environments. However, the vast majority of people are enslaved by their own thoughts.

I read an email from the Illumination Podcast with Nick and Kisma which pointed out, “The real freedom, however, is being objective enough, and—we’ll just say it—in love with yourself enough that it simply doesn’t matter what others think.” That’s a real mouthful because the truth is, we’re conditioned in this society to care too much about what others think—especially if we have past experiences of something negative happening to us because we didn’t do what someone else wanted us to do.

The Bible tells us that, “Where the Spirit of the Lord is present there is freedom,” 2 Corinthians 3:17. But how many of us can admit to allowing the negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions to reign? We’re probably all guilty of it at some point in our lives because we’re human, and that’s our natural state of being. We’ve forgotten that we are divine, sovereign, and free. We were in this state before we came to this existence, we will be so after we leave this planet, and we need to take back our power and declare that liberty now.

So, how can we overcome the imprisonment of negativity and experience true freedom? I believe true freedom is found in having peace. There’s something to be said for stopping when you catch yourself having negative thoughts, taking a deep breath and giving it to your higher power. It’s also good to start naming things you’re grateful for during this process. You can take back the keys to your freedom by controlling your own mind and choosing to react in love toward yourself and others.

I’ve become a big supporter in the last three years of unplugging from electronics, too—Living in the real, physical world and having experiences with other living beings is freeing. I’m not the only one practicing and giving this advice. In 2016, The Center for Brain Health at my alma mater, The University of Texas at Dallas was advising people on Instagram to “Step away, disengage, and unplug to catch your next AH moment.” They’re on the cutting edge of brain research. So, I put a lot of confidence in their advice.

Break out of the online matrix where people tell half-truths, and go walk barefoot in the grass, listen to the birds sing, and feel the sun on your skin. Not only are these things very beneficial to your mind and body (earthing/grounding is a huge thing right now), but it’s freedom at its basic level. I’m making it a priority in my life every day and celebrating a happy Independence Day every day of the year. I hope you’ll consider it, as well.

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

Posted on February 28, 2020February 20, 2020 by seneeseale

Flashback Friday: Which relationship are you putting first?

This week, we’re flashing back to 2015 and continuing to talk about the most important relationship you have …

I had someone write me recently expressing her struggle in getting over being cheated on. I’ve been there. One of the first questions I asked myself was, “What did I do wrong?”

Now that I’ve lived life for a little while, I’m coming to the conclusion that it typically has little or nothing to do with what I could have done differently to prevent my partner from cheating and everything to do with me neglecting another relationship.

The key for me to heal after such devastation (and believe me when I say being cheated on and lied to is devastating) was working on the most important relationship of all — the relationship I have with myself. I’m coming to the conclusion that all relationships are meant to reflect, enhance and expose the relationship we have with ourselves.

Movies like Jerry Maguire tell us we are not whole and need a spouse to complete us. Stories like Beauty and the Beast and even Fifty Shades of Gray tell us if we try hard enough, are good enough and love the right way we can change any difficult person into someone royal who will love, cherish and provide for us.

It goes against everything Hollywood and the fairytales tell us, but when we can truly learn to love and cherish ourselves, then all other relationships in our lives will be enhanced. And I might add that reconnecting to God/higher power/universe/source energy … whatever you choose to call it is also where the healing process will begin.

I was regularly practicing meditation, seeing a therapist, attending Al-Anon meetings and exercising which promoted great healing and internal growth in my life. I looked and felt positive and optimistic about my life, and I had an overwhelming peace about my present and future. I fell in love with someone, and it all stopped. I stopped doing what worked for me to not make someone else feel uncomfortable, but the end result was losing the progress I had made.

Dr. Wayne Dyer often talks about how you can’t go outside yourself looking for what’s missing. It’s like looking for your keys in the front yard under the street light when you lost them inside the dark house. So, how do you start falling in love with yourself? Leslie Braswell offers these suggestions:

Do you love yourself? Are you happy with yourself? If not, take some time, two weeks or longer if need be, to get right with the person that matters most — you.
During this time forget about dating and understand that there is no [other person] in the world that your happiness should depend on.
Reflect on what makes you content and fulfilled. It’s imperative to always seek out ways to improve your life and to be open to the possibility of love when it comes knocking.
Make a list of everything you enjoy doing, but neglected while in a relationship. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel beautiful and amazing.
Get a mini makeover. A full-blown spa day does wonders to lift a girl’s spirits, helps you to relax and makes you look and feel great.
If you can afford a little shopping spree then make a date with yourself to go shopping.
Contact old friends you neglected when you were in a relationship.
Hit the gym. Now more than ever, it’s important to keep yourself healthy. It’ll make you feel better and relieve stress at the same time.
Schedule a girl’s night out with a few of your close, trusted friends. These are the girls you should be able to trust to keep your deepest secrets.
Get your house in order. It doesn’t have to be a penthouse, but clean and organized doesn’t cost a cent. Make the best of what you have.

It Isn’t easy. If it were, we would all be pros at it and therapists and life guides like me would be out of jobs, but I believe it’s possible. How are you nurturing the relationship with yourself?

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

Posted on February 21, 2020February 21, 2020 by seneeseale

Flashback Friday: Are you willing to go through the transformation to become a butterfly?

I heard a local weatherman saying this week that meteorological Spring begins March 1. So, this week, we’re thinking about flowers and warm weather, and flashing back to 2017 to talk about butterflies and the transformation process …

I was at a minister’s conference recently and was talking with a pastor and his family at lunch one day about the book I’m writing. I was explaining how during this process I have been seeing a vision of a butterfly.

I like butterflies and even chose a butterfly garden wedding china pattern, but I’ve never been really crazy about them until now. One day, I realized that I will never crawl on my belly again like a worm because I am being transformed into a beautiful butterfly that will fly above every situation and see the full picture and truth of the matter.

I told the pastor and his family about how I keep thinking about being in that cocoon — You may be in a cocoon near others in one, but it’s a process you must go through alone. That process has to be painful for the caterpillar, but as long as no one interferes, it will emerge as a beautiful butterfly. The pastor said all the ministers sitting in the dining room with us were in cocoons — It was a cocoon conference.

I’ve learned that you just hold on, and let the transformation take place. The key is to enjoy your cocoon time even if you feel like you’re being hidden and overlooked.

It’s very important to note that if someone outside cuts open the cocoon, the transformation stops and the worm/butterfly dies. Protect your cocoon. Don’t let anyone “help” you through the process because it will kill the transformation and could kill you spiritually/emotionally. I’m not talking about seeking guidance from therapists or clergy, I’m talking about getting involved in new relationships here. I don’t advertise it. Once you get inside that cocoon, there’s no turning back.

You know, there’s a reason when you’re working a recovery program that you’re given a sponsor of your same gender and are told not to start a new romantic relationship for a year or two … It’s harder to heal and transform in the presence of the opposite sex. The time will come when you can spend time with whomever you want, but the purpose of the process is transformation, and that can’t happen with outside influence. Lasting change, real transformation, can only happen in the cocoon! You need to learn to question all your motives and decisions to make sure your intentions and heart are pure, and that you’re going into situations that will benefit you and send you further into your calling.

I was counseling someone on this topic, and was asked, “How do I know I’m out of the cocoon?” I think you just know. People keep telling me how much I’ve changed — not only on the outside, but that I’m different inside. I’m starting to see that because I’m thinking differently and not reacting to everything like I used to. Things that used to be acceptable to me no longer are … My standards are higher. I don’t feel like I’m operating from a place of desperation — that place that will cause you to make bad choices every time. Now, I’m constantly asking myself, “Is this something a princess would do? Is this living to a higher, royal standard?”

I believe when things that used to deeply hurt you no longer have an effect on how you feel about yourself, then you’ll be out of the cocoon. During this process, it’s important to remember that all lasting change begins in the mind.

When we focus on gratitude and the positive things in our lives, we are literally changing our brains by creating new neuropathways. Focus on the positives and all the progress you have made, then you will be able to see the changes.

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

Posted on February 14, 2020February 14, 2020 by seneeseale

Flashback Friday: Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?

Since today is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a good time to talk about the most important kind of love — self-love. As I’ve been writing my upcoming book “The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First,” I’ve been on my own self-love journey. What I’ve found is that when I’m practicing healthy self-love, I have love to give others, and I’m not needy for love from others … I’ve learned the hard way that kind of desperation can get you into a lot of trouble and unnecessary heartbreak. So, let’s flashback to October 2018 …

It’s my birthday week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately — not the kind of external love we automatically think about, although that’s been on my mind too — I’m talking about the internal love no one can take away from us.

In our modern-day culture, we tend to think that the only love that counts is the external love from another person typically in a romantic setting. There’s an old song with the lyrics, “You’re nobody until somebody loves you.” I must disagree with this statement. We come from pure love. We are loved greatly by the Creator of All. We have ancestors and spiritual relatives who love and protect us, even though we may not see or encounter them in this realm of existence.

I spent an entire chapter of The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart talking about loving yourself, but it hasn’t been until recent weeks that I’m starting to realize what that really looks like.

The last line of John Mayer’s song New Light poses the question, “What do I do with all this love flowing through my veins for you?” I dare say, once again, that you give all that love back to yourself until you have someone in your life to give that love to who will love you back. That last part is very important because if you aren’t receiving love back from a person, you’re in an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship.

Lately, I’ve been listening daily to The Sundays song Love. The lyrics are profound and have really redirected my thinking about self-love.

So, killing me with love, love, love just love yourself like no one else.
Love, it’s enough.
So, they can say what they like, but they still can’t take
Your love, your love, your love just love yourself like nobody else.
Time’s so scarce where I come from
Let them say what they like, but they still can’t take your love.

When we finally realize who we are, that we ARE love and are deeply loved, no one can take that away from us. Will there be times when we feel lonely and unloved? Of course! I can’t tell you how many birthdays (including the last three and probably this upcoming one) and holidays I’ve spent totally alone. I’ve learned a very valuable lesson, though … When I’m alone on special days, I can spend them doing anything I want to do! I don’t have anyone telling me I’m not worthy of celebrating or that I want too much. I can spend as much or as little money on myself and feel very good about it because I don’t have anyone dictating to me my worth.

So, how do you show love to yourself? You do exactly what I explain in the book … You talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, handsome, talented, honorable, worthy and lovable. I’ve never had a problem looking at myself naked in the mirror — even when I weighed my largest — but It’s taken me decades to finally look in that mirror and see a divine, pretty princess who is beautiful on the inside and outside. I actually see her now, and I’m so grateful that I got to spend this existence in a beautiful, healthy body. Am I perfect? I’m still breathing, so the answer is no. However, I’m learning to appreciate all that I am and all that I have while not dwelling on all those who have walked away from me or those who terrorized me while they were in my life. I see the good in the now, and the present moment really is the gift.

I used to think that the only way a gift mattered was if it was given by someone I loved. I now realize that giving gifts to myself in love is just as important, and they come with no strings or expectations attached.

If you long for someone to give you your favorite flowers, go buy some for yourself or plant them in a pot so that you can have them near you all year long. If you dream of dancing with someone, enroll in dancing classes at a local studio and let them pair you up with someone while you’re waiting on the right person to show up in your life. If you love sports and want a partner to watch games with you, join a Meetup group for sports fans, attend college alumni watching parties or go to a local sports bar and make friends. If you love live music, go see a show by yourself — It hasn’t happened in a long time, but I have seriously had some great fun when I ended up going out all by myself. Don’t sit around waiting and wishing for things to change … Do things now that make you happy and show positive love for yourself.

Recently, I was not feeling well, and I was really wishing my Granny were still alive so that I could curl up in her lap and let her rock me in her rocking chair. I found myself sitting in my own rocking chair. I wrapped my arms around myself, began rocking and I said what I would tell any sick little child I was rocking, “I know you feel really bad right now, but you’re going to be alright. Your body is magnificent and will repair and heal itself. You just need to close your eyes, fall asleep and let your body do its work.” That’s exactly what I needed in that moment, and it was fascinating and wonderful that I was able to give myself what I was longing to receive from someone externally.

In case you’re wondering if what I’m explaining is being “full of yourself” or Narcissistic, the answer is no. (I write extensively about this in the upcoming book “The Princess Guide to Loving Yourself First,”) I was talking about this subject with a therapist friend of mine, and she seemed to agree with my distinction between healthy self-love and someone who is ego-driven or who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I believe that people with highly inflated egos and NPD exude negative energy, while people with positive self-love, genuinely love themselves and exude that positive love to everyone around them.

When you learn to treat yourself with true love and respect, you won’t allow others to mistreat you … That’s a promise from a princess! 🙂

You can find these Flashback Friday blogs posted every Friday. Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives and relationships. Are you ready to start attracting positive things into your life through practicing daily affirmations? Get your free copy of The Princes Guide to Gratitude Affirmations. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the website today!

Posted on October 25, 2019 by seneeseale

Fab Friday Flashback: What costume are you wearing?

Just for the record, I do not dress up for Halloween or celebrate it at all. (I’ll write about that another time.) If I do anything, I wear my crown and am my authentic self. Which brings us to today’s post … Since Halloween is less than a week away, it’s a good time to flashback to 2014 and talk about your costumes …

When I was a little girl, I loved Halloween because it was the one day of the year when you can be anyone you want. However, as an adult I deeply value authenticity. The people who I admire most all live as their true selves no matter who likes it. (I admire this trait, but it also infuriates me when dealing with behaviors that need to change because it can manifest as stubbornness and unwillingness to change.)

When I was a teenager, I held a state office in a national student leadership association and became aware of the term “personality masking.” This occurs when a person doesn’t feel accepted enough to be their authentic self.

Feel Happiness gives this advice for taking off your mask and living authentically:

Do you understand the frame? The “frame” of an interaction is the unwritten context behind it. In other words, it is the roles that you and everyone you interact with are playing. Understand the frame, and act appropriately.
Do you feel “off?” You can “feel” the incongruency of your social mask most of the time. Since it drains your energy, it might manifest itself as a feeling of exhaustion, or just general discomfort. When you notice this feeling, try to drop the social mask and act congruent (in alignment with your values).
What do you like about yourself? Write a list of the fantastic things you have to offer. They won’t be things that everyone will value, but that doesn’t matter. They just have to be things that you like about yourself.
Accept yourself Flaws and all. You are who you are. The person you are right now is OK. All the good things and the bad things about you make you unique and should be cherished.
Stop judging other people Pay attention to the negative qualities in other people, and you will only find more negative qualities in yourself. Just as you’ve accepted yourself, you need to accept other people for the way they are.
Step out of your comfort zone Taking off your social mask will feel uncomfortable at first. When you start doing the things you are afraid of, your comfort zone expands. It becomes easier.
You aren’t the only person with issues Everyone has issues. Everyone has insecurities. If you act like your true self, people won’t think less of you. Instead, they’ll be wondering what you think of them.
Don’t go too far Some people have the exact opposite problem of wearing a social mask. These are the people who share every detail of their lives with you, even if you don’t know them well. Don’t share too much about yourself. Remember to consider the social context that you are in.

Masks and costumes are for Halloween. Enjoy dressing up, but spend the rest of the year being your true self … It looks great on you!

If you enjoy this content and would like to read Senée’s books for free, get on the Royal Team. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the bookstore today!

Posted on October 23, 2019October 13, 2019 by seneeseale

Trust yourself: Is it rejection or protection?

I opened my email one day a few months ago to receive a message from a company that was looking for a news reporter with my skills and three years of experience. The message was to tell me that, “After reviewing your resume and submissions the hiring team has decided not to move forward. We wish you all the best.” First of all, I have 23 years of experience, great writing clips and national and international exposure. Secondly, this is a direct copy and paste of their email, and they are missing a comma in their first sentence. But what would someone with 23 years of writing and editing experience know? I mean, after all, they are the ones sending the “rejection letter.”

Honestly, this isn’t the first email like this I’ve received, and it probably won’t be the last. My initial reaction is always outrage. But this time, it turned into laughter … They have no idea who they just rejected or what they will be missing!

I’ve lived life long enough to know that not everything that looks like rejection actually is. So many times in life, the sting of rejection — be it from a job, love interest or friend — can be so strong and debilitating that we can’t see it’s actually protection disguised as rejection.

There was a time in my life when I would mourn the loss of a person or opportunity for so long, thinking my life was over and nothing good would come to replace that perceived loss. I’ve recently looked back over my life at events that I thought were monumental — you know, those grandiose moments that everyone dreams about like getting that dream job or marrying that forever mate — and realized that they were only lessons I needed to learn to push me into the direction of what would truly make me happy.

I’ve realized a lot about myself in the last year, and one thing I know for certain is that my creativity is completely shut down when I’m working in prison-like office conditions where I am monitored like an inmate and expected to churn out creative material like a robot. I’m more like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City … Not the writing a sex column part, but the work from home/coffee shop and touring museums and department stores when needing inspiration to meet deadlines part.

Knowing this information about myself and how I work best is very helpful when I feel the need to try and conform to society’s norms. I’ve NEVER fit it, and I’m fine with that. It’s other people who have a problem with it. Maybe someday I’ll feel comfortable telling you the realizations I’ve had about who I am and where I came from. But for now, just know that I’m a princess from another place, and we don’t fit in on purpose!

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been looking back over my life at all the experiences I’ve had. I’ve allowed myself to feel the love and joy in particular moments of my life and be grateful that I was honored to experience them. I’ve also looked at the deep, deep rejection I’ve felt from people and realized that if they had not rejected me, I would have been in a miserable position, at the very least. In some cases, it could have cost me my life.

It’s taken a lot of internal work to get to this place in my awakening process, but I’m so grateful that I can see that the rejection I thought would kill me was actually protection from something much worse — jobs, people, men … you name it! It becomes much easier to look at rejection through this lens.

No matter what you have encountered, just know that you were made for great things! You have seeds of greatness within you … Let them out. I love this song It’s amazing by Jem and listen to it all the time to remind myself of who I am and what I am worth:

And I know, ’cause I’ve been there before, Knocking on the doors with rejection (rejection); And you’ll see, ’cause if it’s meant to be; Nothing can compare to deserving your dream. It’s amazing. It’s amazing, all that you can do. It’s amazing. Makes my heart sing; Now it’s up to you.

What protection disguised as rejection in your life are you grateful for?

Catch these first-run Write About It Wednesday blogs every Wednesday. If you enjoy this content and would like to read Senée’s books for free, get on the Royal Team. For more information on how to have successful relationships and peace of mind, check out the bookstore today!

Posted on October 18, 2019October 13, 2019 by seneeseale

Fab Friday Flashback: Leaders prepare for their opportunity to shine. Are you ready for yours?

It’s my birthday weekend, and also my grandfather’s. As you’ll read below, he was a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, and that’s the main reason I love the team so much. He was a simple man in a lot of ways, but a man of great integrity and wisdom. I like to think that we’re a lot alike, and I strive every day to live a purposeful life, as he did. It’s been a tough few weeks to be a Cowboys fan, but the season isn’t over, and as long as you’re breathing, there’s still time to shine … Are you ready for your shot to be a leader? Let’s flashback to 2016 …

In case you haven’t been able to tell ― I’m a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. You could say I was born a Cowboys fan. My grandfather who raised me was a big fan, and everyone in my family are fans (except for my biological father who obviously didn’t last long in the family). I was recently watching a documentary program in Dallas called Deep Blue, and they were telling the story of how Jason Garrett became the new head coach in the middle of the 2010-2011 season.

I was struck by something former Quarterback Jon Kitna said, “You never know how your opportunity (to be a leader) is coming, but you better be ready when it does come. And the time you think you’re not getting that opportunity, you’re caught off guard. I was watching (Garrett) going, ‘This is unbelievable.’ Clearly, he’s been prepared for this for years ahead of time. Clearly, he had a file of ‘when my chance comes’ with things he had gained from Bill Parcels, from Jimmy Johnson and from Tom Cofflin all these coaches, these great coaches he’d been around … It’s like they were all standing there in the person of one person totally prepared, didn’t stutter, didn’t pause … I just remember (being) just in awe of this guy.”

The documentary showed that Garrett was named head coach on Monday afternoon, and by the time the players arrived for their Wednesday morning meeting, Garrett had inspirational signs printed and hung all around the training facility at Valley Ranch. It was if he was taking instructions from God’s playbook, “And the Lord answered me and said, ‘Write the vision and make it plain upon tables that he may run that reads it,’” Habakkuk 2:2. I think it’s important to be surrounded by inspirational quotes — I have them all over my space.

One thing I learned studying Cognitive Psychology is that you need to employ several sensory inputs to cement something into your memory. So just looking at something isn’t enough. You need to read it out loud, then meditate on it — I’m not talking about sitting cross legged on the floor chanting “Ohm;” I’m talking about really thinking about what you are reading and coming up with ways to apply it to your daily life.

Preparation and inspiration weren’t the only things Garrett employed immediately. He also stressed a technique that’s very popular right now in the psychotherapy world.

“One of the things I always talk to the players about is embracing the moment, embracing the day,” Garrett said in his initial press conference as head coach. (There goes that theme of present-mindedness again!)

Mark Sanborn writing for Entrepeneur.com offers these ways to become a great leader:

Keep promises, period. Never make promises you’re not sure you can keep. Nothing kills your credibility quicker than a breached promise or unfulfilled expectation. Sometimes keeping promises can be challenging, if not downright painful. This commitment will develop discipline and integrity.
Dress to influence. Don’t dress to impress, dress to influence. That means making sure your appearance is consistent with your personal and professional brand. Begin by asking yourself how a leader with your aspirations should appear to others. And don’t limit appearance to just yourself. Apply it to your company.
Treat your team as you expect them to treat customers. Being the leader doesn’t give you a free pass to indulge your base instincts. The way you treat people is a barometer to everyone on your team.
Show your commitment to personal growth. There are ultimately only two ways to grow your business: grow yourself and grow your team. As you and your team improve, so do service levels, operational efficiency and everything else.
Ask — rather than wait — for feedback. Some leaders react to unsolicited feedback as criticism and miss an opportunity to learn. But waiting for your employees to become brave enough to offer you feedback is a risky proposition. Don’t ask employees what they like or dislike about you. You’ll get better information by asking: “In your opinion, what might I do to become a more effective leader?” Listen for actionable behavior. If someone says you’d be more effective by communicating more clearly, ask for an example of when you haven’t, so you’ll understand what he or she means.

While becoming a head coach of an NFL team is a big reason to be prepared to be a leader, leadership starts at home. Whether you’re raising a family, teaching a class, heading a group or starting your own business, these same strategies can be used in everyday life.

Posted on October 16, 2019October 16, 2019 by seneeseale

Honor yourself: Wear a crown

It’s my birthday week. Nearly two decades ago, I bought my first tiara. The lady in the store told me it was a good time because they always stock up on them for the little girls at Halloween. I was buying it to wear on my birthday in October. Ever since, I have worn one on my birthday and any time I’m feeling less than royal to remind myself of who I truly am—a princess of high, royal, moral character and integrity. Of course, I also wear one when I’m doing an appearance or book signing for The Princess Guide. When I’m in a mood to not be as easily recognized, I wear my crown ring as a reminder.

I’ve shared this story before, but in case you haven’t read it, let me tell it again because it’s very appropriate here.

My whole life, I’ve had children point at me and call me a princess or Princess Barbie. Strangers have called me a princess and a Southern Belle. It’s happened a lot, but I didn’t put the pieces together until a few years ago.

One landmark day in 2016, I was driving in my car on the interstate, but it was as if I was in a trance. I vaguely remember driving, but what I do remember are the words that were being downloaded to me the whole time. The information translated to me informed me that I was a princess from another dimension before I came to this earth, and that I was deeply loved and cared for there. I had servants to help me and do things for me, but they did it not because they had to, but because they wanted to—because they loved me. I was informed that I wanted to know what it was like to be a peasant, so I came here to experience this, but also to overcome it and help other people. I was told that being in this life doesn’t change who I really am—it’s like being on vacation; who you are doesn’t change because your location changes.

I’ve had many downloads in the last year that have made a little more sense of this information, and I’ve come to understand that being here is basically going to college incognito. (That explains why it’s been so hard to get my messages out into the world because I’m a nobody here.) I’m hear to learn before I go home to start my career (after I pass on to the next density).

I’ve had a hard time accepting all this information. I’ve been so mistreated in this life by the very people who were supposed to love and cherish me the most. I was really afraid to tell anyone about this experience. However, the few people I did tell this story to all said basically the same thing, “Duh! Tell me something I don’t know!” My trusted advisor said, “Of course you are! You’re a daughter of the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and the Most High God!” I’ve heard that my whole life, but it didn’t start resonating with me until a few years ago.

In his book Letting Go, Dr. David Hawkins shed some light into this matter, “As a general rule, therefore, people who are carrying the consciousness of apathy bring poverty circumstances into their lives, and those with a prosperity consciousness bring abundance into their lives.”

This is the time of year that I evaluate what has happened in the past 12 months, and I set goals for the future. This has been a very hard year for me—in terms of owning my power in the workplace and calling my own shots in my career. It may be scary, but you always have a choice and can make changes when something isn’t working in your life (see No. 5 & 6 below). I did that this year and got back on my path to purpose. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve experienced more peace, excitement and passion in what I’m doing in my own business.

I’m now writing books and obviously blogging again. I’m taking on coaching/consulting clients who want assistance in working on their relationships and mental health. I’m working with clients to edit and publish their own books and doing copywriting for clients. And, I’m creating crochet items again and selling them on Princess Guide Curations along with treasure hunt finds I come across at vintage stores. (See all the links above to contact me if you’re interested in working with me in any of these areas.)

I’ve had to learn not to let anyone take my crown and lure me off my throne—meaning: I have to do what is best for me and not allow others to mistreat me whether it be in friendship relationships, work relationships or romantic relationships.

So, what things can you do to honor yourself? Relationship expert Dr. Margaret Paul gave the Huffington Post these suggestions in 2015 that still ring true today:

1. Listen within to your own feelings. Many people easily tune into others’ feelings yet have no idea what they feel. If you ignore a child’s feelings, that child will feel unloved. Ignoring your own feelings has the same result — your inner child feels rejected, abandoned and unloved by you.

2. Be compassionate with your feelings. If you judge your feelings, telling yourself you are wrong for having them, your inner child will feel rejected and abandoned by you. If you are kind, gentle, tender, understanding and accepting of your feelings, your inner child will feel loved by you.

3. Be open to learning about what your feelings are telling you. Just as an actual child feels loved when you are compassionately interested in why he or she is hurting, your inner child will feel loved when you explore what your feelings are telling you. All feelings are informational. Just as physical pain alerts you to a problem that needs attention, so does emotional pain. Painful feelings are telling you that you are abandoning yourself, or that someone is being unloving to you, or to themselves or to others, or that a situation is not good for you. Compassionately attending to your feelings, learning what they are telling you, and then taking action to remedy the situation, will make you feel loved.

4. Create a solid connection with a spiritual source of love, wisdom and comfort. Love is not a feeling we generate from our mind. It comes from the heart when our heart is open to our source of love. When you open to learning with your higher power about loving yourself and others, love flows into your heart and you feel loved.

5. Choose to be around loving people. We don’t always have a choice — such as in work relationships — but when we do have a choice — such as in personal relationships — choosing to be around caring, supportive and accepting people will make you feel loved. If, when you have a choice, you consistently engage with unkind, judgmental or abusive people, the message you are sending to yourself is that you are not worth loving.

6. Take loving actions for yourself around others. When you are around someone who is being unkind, speak up for yourself, letting the person know that you don’t like being treated that way, and then either open to learning about what is going on, or lovingly disengage from the interaction. Allowing others to treat you badly sends a message to your inner child that he or she is not worth loving.

7. Take care of your body, your time, your space and your finances. You will feel loved and lovable when you feed yourself healthy food, and get exercise and sleep. When you ignore your health, you are giving yourself the message that you are not worth loving. When you respect your own and others’ time and space, you are letting yourself know that you are worth it. When you overspend, putting yourself in unnecessary debt, you are not taking loving care of yourself, and your inner child will feel scared, alone and unloved. Just as an actual child needs to feel safe regarding the necessities of life, your inner child needs to feel the same way.

8. Find work you love. Since work takes up a big part of your day, finding or creating work that fulfills you is vitally important. If you continue to force yourself to stay at jobs you hate, the message to yourself is that you are not worth doing whatever it is you need to do to create a fulfilling work life.

9. Create balance. We need balance in our life to feel loved and lovable. We need time to work and time to rest and rejuvenate. We also need time to nurture our body and soul through activities that bring us joy.

Loving yourself and practicing those loving actions will not only help you get healthy self-esteem that no one can take away from you, but it will also give you the skills you need to love others when the right relationship comes into your life.

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